Brian Campbell is the new Chuck Norris

[haseoke]

Brian Campbell does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyways.

There is no head behind Brian Campbell's red hair. Only another shoulder.

on the seventh day God rested....and Brian Campbell took over.

When Brian Campbell was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he bodychecked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Brian Campbell is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[Chilly]

Oh for #%^$#!s sake.

[nfreeman]

I'm in. Campbell is steel wrapped in rawhide. He's 16 miles of bad road. He's the hulk with freckles. He doesn't feel pity, remorse or fear. He's so mean he makes medicine sick.

 

In all seriousness, I think Campbell did lay out the 3 biggest hits of the year for the Sabres -- on Bulis (Montreal), Umberger and whoever it was that separated Kalinin's shoulder (later in that same game).

 

Go Sabres.

[Saber61]

Haha i love it... he so is now too... the guy has made a name for himself in one hit... this is awsome were the talk of the east!

[ATL61]

Brian Campbell does not teabag------he potato sacks

[elcrusho]

Brian Campbell is my homeboy...

 

Brian Campbell is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his Left and Right Shoulders.

 

Brian Campbell always knows the EXACT location of R.J. Umberger

[JujuFish]

You don't give someone AIDS, you give them HIV.

[Kevbeau]

Brian Campbell can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

[UnionAMG]

? Brian Campbell once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

? Crop circles are Brian Campbell' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

? Brian Campbell is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

? The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Brian Campbell out. It failed miserably.

? Contrary to popular belief, Brian Campbell, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

? Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Brian Campbell has 72... and they're all poisonous.

? If you ask Brian Campbell what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

? Brian Campbell drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

? When Brian Campbell sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Brian Campbell has not had to pay taxes, ever.

? The quickest way to a man's heart is with Brian Campbell' fist.

? Brian Campbell invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

? CNN was originally created as the "Brian Campbell Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

? Brian Campbell can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

? There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Brian Campbell allows to live.

? Brian Campbell once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

? What was going through the minds of all of Brian Campbell' victims before they died? His shoe.

? Brian Campbell is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

? Police label anyone attacking Brian Campbell as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

? Brian Campbell doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

? Brian Campbell doesn?t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

? A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Brian Campbell and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

? Brian Campbell will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

? Someone once videotaped Brian Campbell getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

? If you spell Brian Campbell in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

? Brian Campbell originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Campbell replied, "That's no glitch."

? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Brian Campbell once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

? The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Brian Campbell played in second grade.

? Brian Campbell once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

? Brian Campbell once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Brian Campbell re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

? Brian Campbell has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

? Someone once tried to tell Brian Campbell that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

? Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Briantatorship.

? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Brian Campbell once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

? Brian Campbell is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Brian Campbell.

? Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Brian Campbell's warm-up exercises.

? Brian Campbell is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

? In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Brian Campbell turned that wine into beer.

? Brian Campbell can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

? Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Brian Campbell.

? Brian Campbell discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Brian Campbell is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Brian Campbell roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

? Brian Campbell doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

? The Brian Campbell military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Brian Campbell could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

? In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Brian Campbell could use to kill you, including the room itself.

? According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Brian Campbell walks.

? Brian Campbell does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

? Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Campbell gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

? When Brian Campbell goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

? There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Brian Campbell has breathed on.

? Brian Campbell once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Brian Campbell won by 5.

? Brian Campbell was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Campbell's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

? Brian Campbell sheds his skin twice a year.

[haseoke]

dude, i love it. but at least you could've changed all the "round house kicks" to "body checks". Let's try to keep it vaguely proper.

j