weave

[Eleven]

I received a text message tonight from an unknown number.  It said "This is [weave's real name].  New phone number.  [redacted]"  I received the message at precisely 7:25 left in the Bruins-Rays game.

I immediately asked who this person was and what the person had done with [weave's real name].

The response was unintelligible.

Someone KNEW that we would be watching that game, and not watching weave, at precisely 7:25 left in the second.

Now, I know weave, and I know he can be unintelligible at times, but this raised my nerves a bit.  I have concluded that either (1) something nefarious has happened to weave or (2) a Kazhakstani spy has taken over his persona.  It is possible that weave is just really that wasted, but no, my experience says no.

Accordingly, I want to gather a Special SabreSpace Task Force to look for weave.  We will gather on the northernmost point of the shore of Lake Geneva tomorrow at 10 pm.  It is best to operate under cover of darkness.

I want the following people to perform the following roles, and nothing other than these roles, on the Task Force:

 

@WildCard  You are going to deal with sewers and vermin.  This should have been obvious before you volunteered, which you didn't.

@New Scotland (NS)  You live in some sort of Narnia land near Canada, but like a Narnia that is all Sunnyvale Trailer Park.  Stand by.  You can't get to the location by tomorrow.  But you're pretty religious, so pray for @Weave

@shrader  You also can't get here in time.  I want you to monitor all homeowner associations in your area.

@spndnchz  You need to cut your hair, disguise yourself like @LGR4GM and make sure that the entire operation is politically correct.

@LGR4GM You need to disguise yourself like @spndnchz and infiltrate the enemy headquarters.  @inkman will give you sufficient lubrication from his factory.

@Ogre  We need you there just to be threatening.  No, @inkman, not this time.  We need to be quiet and discreet.

@nfreeman will moderate the entire operation and make sure that no one says a cross word about, well, You Know Who.

@PASabreFan we need you to make bologna and cheese sandwiches and deliver them to the front.  If you are too old and frail, we will dispatch @Brawndo to get them and deliver.  With a name like that, I think he can smuggle sandwiches across state lines.

Most critically, @Thorny will make sure that @Ducky stays away.  He pretends to be a Jets fan, which makes him a prime suspect.

I will commandeer the operation and also be the official pedant.

This is important.  Level 3 important.  (Sorry, @Weave, you're just not DEFCON 2 yet.)

Our codename will be @Wilbur

 

EDIT:  Sorry, @That Aud Smell, but you're drunk.

 

Edited August 26, 2020 by Eleven

[Weave]

*mumbles something unintelligible *

[Eleven]

7 minutes ago, Weave said:

*mumbles something unintelligible *

We'll get you out of there, man.  Tomorrow.  10pm.  We're not the A-Team, but we're the Sabres equivalent.  So more like D-team.  Or F-Troop.

Edited August 26, 2020 by Eleven

[LGR4GM]

@spndnchz I need to borrow a dress and razor 

[Eleven]

1 minute ago, LGR4GM said:

@spndnchz I need to borrow a dress and razor 

The dress and razor already are on their way.  Shave well, my man, for we do this for weave.  Oh--the wig is at your own expense.  Sorry.

[WildCard]

You don't volunteer for Charlie work, it volunteers you

I'm ready

[Zamboni]

Whew. Glad I wasn’t tasked with anything. Back to watching hockey....

[LGR4GM]

16 minutes ago, Eleven said:

The dress and razor already are on their way.  Shave well, my man, for we do this for weave.  Oh--the wig is at your own expense.  Sorry.

Already have a wig in mind

[Eleven]

Just now, LGR4GM said:

Already have a wig in mind

Good.  Get ready to mount up tomorrow.  We shall save weave!

[Marvin]

Weave a safety net for Weave.

[Stoner]

I fried the baloney. I intend to keep the sandwiches warm overnight by stashing them in my armpits.

[Brawndo]

2 minutes ago, PASabreFan said:

I fried the baloney. I intend to keep the sandwiches warm overnight by stashing them in my armpits.

Wear Full PPE to pick up the sandwiches, check 

[Eleven]

6 minutes ago, Zamboni said:

Whew. Glad I wasn’t tasked with anything. Back to watching hockey....

Good job.  Now, you do have a task.  You have to update us with scores tomorrow.  @Marvin, Sabres Fan has been added to the Task Force; the job is to receive scores from you and transmit them to us.  Marvin, you are NOT to report to base.  Stay where you are and @Gabrielor will provide you with instructions.

[Marvin]

Just now, Eleven said:

Good job.  Now, you do have a task.  You have to update us with scores tomorrow.  @Marvin, Sabres Fan has been added to the Task Force; the job is to receive scores from you and transmit them to us.  Marvin, you are NOT to report to base.  Stay where you are and @Gabrielor will provide you with instructions.

Roger.  Wilco.  Out.

[Eleven]

7 minutes ago, PASabreFan said:

I fried the baloney. I intend to keep the sandwiches warm overnight by stashing them in my armpits.

FFS.  They weren't even supposed to be fried.  Dismissed.

We will need another sandwich-person.

 

@Marvin, Sabres Fan can you find Arthur?  He was pretty good with sandwiches.

Edited August 26, 2020 by Eleven

[DarthEbriate]

18 minutes ago, Zamboni said:

Whew. Glad I wasn’t tasked with anything. Back to watching hockey....

Hold your fire. There's no lifeforms. It must have short-circuited.

[Eleven]

1 minute ago, DarthEbriate said:

Hold your fire. There's no lifeforms. It must have short-circuited.

I would have enlisted you, but you're evil.

[tom webster]

I think I enjoyed this more then reading about a missed opportunity in the 2007 draft.

[That Aud Smell]

[North Buffalo]

Do you need a boat... dont have one but know how to commandeer them and run silently or if Weave is drunk it wont matter much.

[Gabrielor]

8 hours ago, Eleven said:

Good job.  Now, you do have a task.  You have to update us with scores tomorrow.  @Marvin, Sabres Fan has been added to the Task Force; the job is to receive scores from you and transmit them to us.  Marvin, you are NOT to report to base.  Stay where you are and @Gabrielor will provide you with instructions.

Sure. Instructions will be in the form of a google sheet containing everything I think the Sabres should do in a given offseason. Use how you see fit.

[Cascade Youth]

Should I feel bad about being left out of this clique?

I don’t.  But none of you are invited to my barbecue just FYI.

[MattPie]

49 minutes ago, Cascade Youth said:

Should I feel bad about being left out of this clique?

I don’t.  But none of you are invited to my barbecue just FYI.

I wouldn't worry, I've been here for like 13 years and nearly 10000 posts and I'm not in. ?

[nfreeman]

OK, one more job, but remember we agreed no more extraction missions after everything got FUBAR in Moose Jaw and @MattPie and @Cascade Youth lost their you-know-whats.

I'm getting too old for this sheeee-iiiittt.

[MattPie]

5 minutes ago, nfreeman said:

OK, one more job, but remember we agreed no more extraction missions after everything got FUBAR in Moose Jaw and @MattPie and @Cascade Youth lost their you-know-whats.

I'm getting too old for this sheeee-iiiittt.

I didn't lose anything, I just don't remember where I saved it.