OT: Stress, Anxiety, things like it

[Randall Flagg]

I've documented (with too much detail, likely) the problems I've been having with my digestive tract here recently, including when I thought I had a stomach bug. 

It's slowly dawning on me that a lot of this might be stress-related. 

I had a very ignorant view of stress before grad school - I thought it was obvious to spot, easy to diagnose. A panic attack when studying, heart palpitations, stuff like that. I did not connect it to anything that was happening to me because even though I have a lot of work, I've been enjoying myself here and haven't felt actual nerves/butterflies more than once or twice in the past two months. 

But I guess you don't need to feel nerves to be affected by stress, and I'm learning just how big of an impact stress can have on you. 

 

What made me come to this realization was, yesterday morning, I had the same problems I did the night I panic-posted about puking here. That night I never puked. I dry-heaved and gagged but nothing came up. Yesterday I woke up, had a similar thing flush through my system, and then gagged a few times. I didn't feel nauseous, it was all in my throat. A lump, a need to gag. The lump kept coming in and fading all through today, even. And today, when I sat down to open my textbook, it flared up. When I face-timed my family, gone. When I opened the book again, I had a lump in my throat. When I took a break to build a desk I had ordered, gone. Surely this MUST be stress related. Even though I'm not nervous about this book explicitly, my body must be telling me that I'm putting it through too much stress. And maybe that's why my digestive tract is messed up to the point where I am GUARANTEED to have to leave school if the last two weeks becomes the norm. I still might have a different digestive underlying problem, but I would be willing to bet that it's being exacerbated badly by school. 

 

The biggest shock for me with this realization (which is still just guesswork, ultimately), like I said, is that I didn't even know I was anxious. I was just randomly dry heaving and having horrible digestive issues thinking it was something else. It only became clear when I felt so much better this weekend doing things I enjoyed versus sitting down to study (which I enjoy, but which scares me often). I psyched myself up for this bigtime over the last 8 months and I might be feeling the consequences of doing that now.

 

So my question is to you guys and girls, have you had anything similar to this happen and so rudely take over your life? I'm positive many of you have, because you're all adults and lead way more relevant, important, and stressful lives than I do. And what kinds of things ultimately helped deal with it? I'm totally clueless and lost. I had no idea what stress and anxiety really are and really do to you, and I think I'm experiencing it firsthand now. I don't know what to do or who to see. I just need it to stop now so I can function enough to pass classes.

 

 

[Weave]

Doctor.  Talk to him.

 

Yes, I've had episodes.  Meds help.  A good support system helps better IME.

[3putt]

Stress is real. During my former life I would be "on the clock" so to speak 24/7 when I had a case going to trial. The fact that your clients fortunes rested in your ability and preparation can wind you into knots. You are in a similar place but your "client" is yourself. Often the best remedy is physical activity. Something to distract the mind and excercise the rest of your body. I played beer league hockey and swam. As you realize you are making progress, In my case a few wins, the anxiety lessens but never disappears. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Get outside, leave the phone or computer at home. Walk, run, bike whatever makes you happy and isn't another test. And eat as well as you can. Just my $.02

[WildCard]

I've had to puke twice from being nervous. So, all I did was puke. Granted those were more specific to the moment rather than my anxiety levels in general.

 

Far as being anxious in general, sounds like you're really stressed about school. It's understandable; big leap in your life, what feels like a lot on the line, the pressure and all that, sure you already know.

 

I'm young, so maybe it's youth, but I guess the only thing I can tell you is, just realize it will all work out. Look at everything you've ever been stressed about, has anything really that bad ever happened? Almost every time, you came out just fine. Short of maybe, 3-4 things in your life, nothing can really break you.

 

So I guess my advice is, and maybe it's bad, I don't know, but think of the worst thing that happens to you from this. So you flunk out, end up with some debt, and have to go somewhere else. Is that really that bad? You'll be fine. Who knows, maybe you'll get a better college, and maybe somewhere better for you. 

 

Think about that, then think of how likely that scenario is really, really likely to happen. 5%, tops? 

 

In your wildest dreams, the things people are most usually anxious about are never really likely to happen. Or, if they are, we're worried how terrible it will be. Truth is, it's never all that terrible. You'll come out just fine.

 

And if it is, if it's really one of those 3-4 things (which I don't mean to belittle your stress, but I don't think this is), well I don't know what to tell you. To me those things are losing a family member, or something similar, and I've never had that happen. 

 

All in all man, and I know it's stupid, but just relax. 

 

[Randall Flagg]

Thanks everyone.

The big thing for me was that if not for the timing, I would stubbornly refuse to believe it's stress, because even though I'm a spazz here, in real life my emotions and moods change like glaciers - I don't get nervous or feel butterflies ever. I'm not scared of this test or of school at any level I can reach with my brain. I'm not worried about jack ######. But I must be.

Doctor.  Talk to him.

 

Yes, I've had episodes.  Meds help.  A good support system helps better IME.

Going ASAP, which hopefully means tomorrow but might mean Wednesday

Edited October 2, 2017 by Randall Flagg

[3putt]

It is not that you are consciusly worried, but rather your body is telling you something is out of balance. Subconsciously you know you are in the show and the stakes are real. As Wild says it is highly unlikely that the worst case scenario comes to pass, but you may not be treating your health with the same diligence as your studies. Proper sleep, food, exercise, diversion all matter in keeping that even keel.

[dudacek]

I've always been known as the unflappable type, the guy people leaned on when things got crazy. The guy who got things done.

Always took pride In it.

 

Learned in my mid-40s that even though I coped well with it all those years, it didn't mean that stress didnt affect me.

Developed some (less serious) anxiety issues that took me some time to actually recognize for what they were and some (more serious) physical issues that were definitely related to my "I can take it" attitude.

 

I think task-oriented people who either enjoy their work, or at least take a lot of pride in doing it well (which I suspect you are) are quite susceptible to falling into this treadmill trap.

 

My advice is try to divide your time equally into working, sleeping and leisure over the course of each week, and understand that, for people like us, the leisure needs be something that is more physical and/or social than mental.

Edited October 2, 2017 by dudacek

[Randall Flagg]

I've always been known as the unflappable type, the guy people leaned on when things got crazy. The guy who got things done.

Always took pride In it.

 

Learned in my mid-40s that even though I coped well with it all those years, it didn't mean that stress didnt affect me.

Developed some (less serious) anxiety issues that took me some time to actually recognize for what they were and some (more serious) physical issues that were definitely related to my "I can take it" attitude.

 

I think task-oriented people who either enjoy their work, or at least take a lot of pride in doing it well (which I suspect you are) are quite susceptible to falling into this treadmill trap.

 

My advice is try to divide your time equally into working, sleeping and leisure over the course of each week, and understand that, for people like us, the leisure needs be something that is more physical and/or social than mental.

So I should probably cool it with the 50 hour Sabres projects eh

[WildCard]

So I should probably cool it with the 50 hour Sabres projects eh

...no?

[biodork]

The lump in the throat thing is legit!  I experienced this last Jan., and I thought I was crazy until I searched and found it's an actual thing:

 

https://www.merckmanuals.com/home/digestive-disorders/symptoms-of-digestive-disorders/lump-in-throat

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cricopharyngeal_spasm

 

It was awful because the position of the lump would make me feel like I was gonna hurl, and also like I was going to choke on food.  Thankfully it only lasted a few days, but not fun.  And like you, I've always kind of thrived on stress (i.e. I didn't think I found it stressful), but apparently my body thinks otherwise.   :(  I suspect Jo can probably relate to your original post quite a bit.

 

Anyhow, I'll second the suggestion that physical activity (whether that's jut plain old exercise or getting outside and wandering around) helps a LOT.  But if that's not your thing or there aren't good places to go nearby, making time for any other activity that you find enjoyable should help with relaxation.  I'm much better at giving this advice than taking it myself, though!

Edited October 2, 2017 by biodork

[WildCard]

The lump in the throat thing is legit!  I experienced this last Jan., and I thought I was crazy until I searched and found it's an actual thing:

 

https://www.merckmanuals.com/home/digestive-disorders/symptoms-of-digestive-disorders/lump-in-throat

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cricopharyngeal_spasm

 

It was awful because the position of the lump would make me feel like I was gonna hurl, and also like I was going to choke on food.  Thankfully it only lasted a few days, but not fun.  And like you, I've always kind of thrived on stress (i.e. I didn't think I found it stressful), but apparently my body thinks otherwise.   :(  I suspect Jo can probably relate to your original post quite a bit.

 

Anyhow, I'll second the suggestion that physical activity (whether that's jut plain old exercise or getting outside and wandering around) helps a LOT.  But if that's not your thing or there aren't good places to go nearby, making time for any other activity that you find enjoyable should help with relaxation.  I'm much better at giving this advice than taking it myself, though!

Huh, no . I actually got prescribed anti-acid medicine from my doctor, and got checked for throat cancer because of this stuff. Turns out, guess I had a few months at the end of winter that just really sucked :lol:

[dudacek]

So I should probably cool it with the 50 hour Sabres projects eh

If your job was as a gardener, or a night watchman, I'd say those projects would be necessary for your health.

But given what I know about what you do, unfortunately, yes.

 

What we really need to do is get you a job with the Sabres.

[biodork]

Huh, no ######. I actually got prescribed anti-acid medicine from my doctor, and got checked for throat cancer because of this stuff. Turns out, guess I had a few months at the end of winter that just really sucked :lol:

It's definitely an unpleasant experience, and while I don't wish it on anyone, I'm kinda glad to hear it's happened to other people, too.

[Eleven]

Advice I wish I would take myself:

 

Worrying can only make you suffer twice.

[Randall Flagg]

It's definitely an unpleasant experience, and while I don't wish it on anyone, I'm kinda glad to hear it's happened to other people, too.

I was so relieved to read about it on the internet as well. 

 

The first time it was accompanied with dry heaves because I had tried taking medicine on an empty stomach, but I still didn't get fully sick. Yesterday was all gag, three or four times, and then just the lump lying low. It's totally gone right now. 

 

When I'm relaxed, like right this second, my intestines almost feel relieved and like they've unclenched. When it gets bad, everything feels tight and clenched and the results make me sad. I dunno. I'm trying to keep it like this as long as possible but I've now reached a state of hyper-awareness that I fear will cause a feedback loop. 

[biodork]

I was so relieved to read about it on the internet as well. 

 

The first time it was accompanied with dry heaves because I had tried taking medicine on an empty stomach, but I still didn't get fully sick. Yesterday was all gag, three or four times, and then just the lump lying low. It's totally gone right now. 

 

When I'm relaxed, like right this second, my intestines almost feel relieved and like they've unclenched. When it gets bad, everything feels tight and clenched and the results make me sad. I dunno. I'm trying to keep it like this as long as possible but I've now reached a state of hyper-awareness that I fear will cause a feedback loop. 

It sounds cheesy, but there are some free mobile apps that can help with relaxation, too... I have one called "Relax Lite" that includes 2-5 min. exercises that have soothing nature sounds and force you to focus on your breath, which is really helpful when I can't turn off my brain and sleep.

[dudacek]

I was very surprised to realize how unconsciously clenched I often was and with how successful breathing exercises were for dealing with it.

[nfreeman]

Exercise and fresh air. You will be amazed at how much better, relaxed and comfortable with everything you feel after, say, a 5-mile run.

 

Sweat it out.

 

Satisfaction guaranteed.

[Wyldnwoody44]

I unfortunately have had the pleasure of dealing with this type of stuff after being deployed to Iraq when I was quite younger.... It took years to get over the hump and I am in a good place these days, however the anxiety/panic feeling is real and very very tough to handle.... Meds are helpful and as much as I do not like them as a first line; a low dose one may be a good idea to keep you in school.

 

Benzodiazapines are very addictive and become easy tolerated

 

SSRI/SNRI's (antidepressants) are a good first line for anxiety, but they take some time to build up and sometimes take some monkeying around with type and dose for benefit.

 

Buspar is a fairly safe anti anxiety medicine, however it is so mild that it sometimes doesn't work, the side effect profile is nearly non existent though.

 

Exercise or anything that releases Endorphins is great, also using refocusing techniques is a good idea, if you know it's situational then you can train your brain to go to a "happy place" and it helps with the tasks at hand. Chamomile tea and avoiding caffeine is helpful too.

[TheAud]

Many years ago at work I almost blacked out due to stress induced anxiety. Had to lay down at the nurses office for more than an hour to recover. 

Since then I have learned that stress/anxiety was a component of a drinking problem, a failed marriage, and general unhappiness and poor health. 

 

Stress is always present and in some appropriate level, a good thing. However anxiety is a health threat that deserves on-going attention. For me it's been about working on my health, my spirituality, and lifestyle. 

Losing weight and especially exercising made a huge difference.  I am not religious but found that people who were often had something I wanted...a peace of mind and serenity that enabled them to handle stress MUCH better than I did. So I spent some time exploring that and using the parts I found that worked for me. Lastly I gave up the drinking and worked on meditation, chose some less stressful (but still demanding) career paths, and focused more on family and friends and maintaining those close connections at a higher frequency. 

 

I don't recommend working on anxiety alone. Tends to make one anxious. Some combination of doctors, counselors/therapists, spiritual advisers, 12 step or support groups, family, and friends can and should be your support network. It goes much better that way!

 

Good luck!

Edited October 2, 2017 by Sakman

[LTS]

There was a time from 1998-2000 where I learned all I ever wanted about stress.

 

The circumstances of how and why really aren't important because stress comes from ANYTHING and is different for everyone.  It's not always the obvious influences either.  My father's side of the family has had a long history with "intestinal/digestive" issues.  For awhile I was under the assumption that it was some kind of genetic situation and that it would be something I had to live with for the rest of my life.

 

I knew I didn't like my job, I had to focus on daily budgeting of money, and the early years of marriage were tough (this all was happening when I was 24-26).  In any event, feeling consistently tired out, unmotivated, and mostly like I was sick all the time with stomach issues really wore on me.  At the time I had no idea that the stress was THAT bad.  I didn't have the experience in life to know better.  So, while I could recognize job dissatisfaction and some of the relationship stuff the daily budgeting i had lived with for awhile.  

 

I was lucky enough to finally switch jobs into something that was more rewarding.  My income level really didn't change but essentially the future path was brighter and it changed things.  A few years later I realized I was no longer experiencing those same health issues despite having now purchased a house, had a child, and had more day to day stress in my life. 

 

What I feel I learned (and to this day it's held true for me) is that the obvious stress is easy for us to deal with.  We can see things like lack of income, crappy job, and bad relationships.  We can deal with those things because they are easy to understand.  What I didn't realize was how worthless my crappy job made me feel and because of that I felt like I was not worth being married to and that my wife would be better off with someone else.  I created new, complex stressors, that really screwed with my health.

 

I firmly believe it's a perspective thing.  We stay micro-focused on so many things in this world that we fail to see the big picture.  To use the tree metaphor, when you live in the forest you are really only concerned with the trees around you.  If you see them dying you may feel despair.  You may not know that there is more forest that is thriving and that you only need to move yourself there.  If the forest is dying you may need to find a new forest.  For me the realization is that where you are, now, is not the entirety of life.  I'm still stressed at times.  I never let myself be defined by it anymore.  I constantly battle with things in this world, in this country, in my job, etc.  I constantly ask myself if changing my reality would solve the problem.  I think that's the key.  When I was 24-26 I was buried in the reality of what I was experiencing without knowing what else was out there.  I felt trapped.  Sure, I knew there were other things but I didn't have the understanding to know what those other things actually meant. 

 

My advice?  Take a break, completely unplug and get away.  Go do something completely different, even if for a few days, to get yourself an understanding of what else is possible.  If you are truly committed to your current existence you need to find a balance.  If you need a daily balance I would suggest meditation.  Change everything you can without changing the core of what you need to get through, etc.  Change what you drink, what you read, who you talk to, etc.  Deliberately find different things to experience so your mind begins realizing different opportunities.  Do you stay home every night?  Just go to a coffee shop, get a tea (or cold brew coffee, hot coffee is too acidic) and watch people.  FInd a free concert to go to... it doesn't matter how good it is, you'll likely enjoy the experience.

 

And keep posting here... because I think we all have some insight into what has happened in our lives.

 

Oh, I should also add.. yes I was married at 23.  Engaged at 21.  And despite those rough early years I am still married to the same person and it's the greatest thing in my life.

Edited October 2, 2017 by LTS

[Eleven]

Exercise and fresh air. You will be amazed at how much better, relaxed and comfortable with everything you feel after, say, a 5-mile run.

 

Sweat it out.

 

Satisfaction guaranteed.

 

Honestly, you're right.  I feel so much better on days when I exercise in the morning than on days when I don't.

[Ogre]

I'll add my 2 cents. I've been doing Iron Work my entire adult life. I thought I was immune to the constant danger associated with the gig. It wasn't very many years into things when a true disaster struck my job site. No matter what you do there is always going to be dangers and struggles that are inescapable. My advice is the same as LTS. Take so me breaks in your life. Some solitary time(especially at your age) is as important as hard work to your future. Trust a guy that's seen some of the worst possible things happen. If your having issues now then be aware that life doesn't get any easier. Good luck.

[North Buffalo]

Been there done that and yes decompressing regularly is important especially if no medical reason such as a hiatal hernia or gird... Im 53 still work hard but I take breaks from it all, do physically active stuff and meditate. Was always told you have take care of mind sole and body. When I get lazy with one of those I often pay for it. Hope you feel better.

[Sabre Dance]

Some years back, my grandmother came to stay with us.  This was my dad's mom and she could no longer live by herself.  We agreed that she would stay with us for six months, then stay with my dad's brother for the next six.

She was in her early 80's and was in pretty good health, except that she constantly paced. She would walk around the house most of the day, which by itself was not an issue. However, occasionally, her blood pressure would drop suddenly and she would black out momentarily and fall.  (Thank goodness, she never broke anything.) So, when I was home (I was in college at the time), I would keep an eye on her as she paced.  Every once in a while, she would sort of wobble on her feet.  I would jump up, thinking she was about to fall, but mostly she didn't.  Then, when your guard was down and you were otherwise occupied (like homework), you would suddenly hear a thump...and there was Gram on the floor.

Well, about three weeks into her stay, i began to develop a rash around my midsection.  It was red and itchy, and appeared to be the sort of rash you would get if you had a mild allergic reaction to a new laundry detergent or fabric softener.  (Now, we never did switch laundry detergents or fabric softeners during this time, but formulas change, etc.)

I never felt any stress at all, even with Grandma pacing and occasionally falling.

The rash stayed with me for the next several months, all through the winter.  It got a little better, then it would flare up again.  I sort of got used to it and pretty much ignored it after a while.

Spring came and my uncle came to pick up Grandma and take her back to his home.  Three days afterwards, my rash completely disappeared.  I didn't make the connection at the time, but in the Fall when Grandma came back to stay with us again....the rash returned.  Again, it stayed all winter (as did Grandma) and again the next Spring, when Grandma left, so did the rash.

At this point, I pretty much decided that it was the stress of expecting Grandma to fall all of the time that had caused the rash. Unfortunately, Grandma's health declined to the point where she went into a nursing home that summer, and never did come back to stay with us.  And the rash never came back.

 

So, yes, sometimes our body reacts to stress (real or perceived) even if we aren't consciously aware of it.