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Posted
20 minutes ago, N S said:

Oh, man.  When I read the OP and he said the kid was 12 I didn't think to go where you did.  I really hope that you are off base here, as you are corect ... that would be far worse.

Same here.  I hate that the possibility even came to mind, but that's the world we live in today.

Posted
12 minutes ago, shrader said:

Same here.  I hate that the possibility even came to mind, but that's the world we live in today.

I thought the exact same thing. My first brush with that world was my neighbor/friend's older brother. He was about 10/11 when he started doing some pretty awful stuff. I was 6 and one of his favorite targets. He had a rough road and a rough childhood, got thrown out of a lot of schools for sexual stuff and pulling knives, but through a lot of intervention and help, him and his sister are doing better these days. She's a former serial Peace Corps volunteer and now works with at risk children to help kids like her brother. But now I'm side noting and projecting. I also hope it's not that. We considered moving because of it at one point, too. 

Do what makes you most comfortable. If everyone's hanging in there alright, do some looking. I'd personally wait to see if the situation is rectified via law enforcement/etc. but moving is certainly not out of the cards. Sometimes you need to start fresh and shake off the bad stuff. 

  • Sad 1
Posted
3 hours ago, LTS said:

The logical move is to wait and see what becomes of this situation while watching over your children. At this point it seems to be known that there is an investigation into this particular child and that should lessen any chances of things happening, for now.

On the flip side, this is your children's safety and your mental well being that we are talking about and logical sometimes doesn't have a place. Your wife is correct in that it is possible and you are correct that you never know. The biggest thing to consider is whether you may be overly paranoid wherever you move because of what is transpiring in your neighborhood right now.

I think a good first step is at least doing your due diligence on what you could reasonably sell your house for and where you want to move and how much that will cost.  From there determine if it's more or less viable than you are comfortable with.  If it isn't something that isn't viable, what will it take to get there?

Removing emotion from it will be tough, but making a rash decision could cause you years of problems you don't want. For now, hopefully it is enough to just watch over your children in your current area and make sure they are safe while investigating your options.

I'd like to think I'd follow my own advice in this situation... but I can feel your struggle in my heart when I think about what if it happening in my neighborhood.

Taking emotion out of it will be tough.  this kid is 7 years older than my son and i don't know what i would do if something happened to him that i couldve prevented by moving.  for now though we will continue as we have been the whole time, my son is never outside without one of us and that will not change.  but, eventually i would like to let my son go to a friends house and not hav to worry about him going alone when he is a few years older.  we are going to hold out hope that the family will move once the investigation is complete and the truth is out.

1 hour ago, shrader said:

This one looks to be a great example of why people need to be a little more descriptive when they label these situations as opposed to just saying victimized.  Maybe I'm off on this one, but I get a completely different read from what Marions posted to where this isn't a bullying situation.  If I'm wrong, good, because my read is something far worse.  Broad terms used to cover just about all bases (and your own ass, at least when it comes to news reports) lead to more confusion.

it is indeed far beyond bullying and its shocking because the kid is 12, I am not far off believing that something happened to him when he ws younger and now he's doing the same thing?

1 hour ago, N S said:

Oh, man.  When I read the OP and he said the kid was 12 I didn't think to go where you did.  I really hope that you are off base here, as you are corect ... that would be far worse.

 

59 minutes ago, shrader said:

Same here.  I hate that the possibility even came to mind, but that's the world we live in today.

 

38 minutes ago, josie said:

I thought the exact same thing. My first brush with that world was my neighbor/friend's older brother. He was about 10/11 when he started doing some pretty awful stuff. I was 6 and one of his favorite targets. He had a rough road and a rough childhood, got thrown out of a lot of schools for sexual stuff and pulling knives, but through a lot of intervention and help, him and his sister are doing better these days. She's a former serial Peace Corps volunteer and now works with at risk children to help kids like her brother. But now I'm side noting and projecting. I also hope it's not that. We considered moving because of it at one point, too. 

Do what makes you most comfortable. If everyone's hanging in there alright, do some looking. I'd personally wait to see if the situation is rectified via law enforcement/etc. but moving is certainly not out of the cards. Sometimes you need to start fresh and shake off the bad stuff. 

i am sorry to hear that you were a traget of his, i can't even imagine the pain from that.  they live 5 houses down from us and i just get sick to my stomach whenever we walk by and i think of the kids that have been hurt by him and how i couldnt bare to imagine if it happened to either of my kids.  

we are likely in wait and see mode, but, what can law enforcement do to the kid? he's 12.  can he be taken to a home for treatment etc? i believe that our school district can not allow him into school, so maybe they will move because of that.  i just don't know what to do.

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Posted
11 minutes ago, Marions Piazza said:

Taking emotion out of it will be tough.  this kid is 7 years older than my son and i don't know what i would do if something happened to him that i couldve prevented by moving.  for now though we will continue as we have been the whole time, my son is never outside without one of us and that will not change.  but, eventually i would like to let my son go to a friends house and not hav to worry about him going alone when he is a few years older.  we are going to hold out hope that the family will move once the investigation is complete and the truth is out.

it is indeed far beyond bullying and its shocking because the kid is 12, I am not far off believing that something happened to him when he ws younger and now he's doing the same thing?

 

 

i am sorry to hear that you were a traget of his, i can't even imagine the pain from that.  they live 5 houses down from us and i just get sick to my stomach whenever we walk by and i think of the kids that have been hurt by him and how i couldnt bare to imagine if it happened to either of my kids.  

we are likely in wait and see mode, but, what can law enforcement do to the kid? he's 12.  can he be taken to a home for treatment etc? i believe that our school district can not allow him into school, so maybe they will move because of that.  i just don't know what to do.

There are a lot of tough things at play here as the child is only 12.  They are likely acting on prior experiences which makes it even more difficult. There are no good answers in this situation.  As you indicated, you would like your son to go outside alone at some point.  This is the one thing you have on your side.  Time should allow the investigation to complete and I don't suspect it would take too long overall as it is.  So, if you can wait it out while you examine your options, you might end up in a good spot.  

Bottom line is you are going to have to do whatever you feel is best and it's likely to change from week to week, if not day to day, at least while the investigations are happening.

Posted
2 minutes ago, Marions Piazza said:

Taking emotion out of it will be tough.  this kid is 7 years older than my son and i don't know what i would do if something happened to him that i couldve prevented by moving.  for now though we will continue as we have been the whole time, my son is never outside without one of us and that will not change.  but, eventually i would like to let my son go to a friends house and not hav to worry about him going alone when he is a few years older.  we are going to hold out hope that the family will move once the investigation is complete and the truth is out.

it is indeed far beyond bullying and its shocking because the kid is 12, I am not far off believing that something happened to him when he ws younger and now he's doing the same thing?

 

 

i am sorry to hear that you were a traget of his, i can't even imagine the pain from that.  they live 5 houses down from us and i just get sick to my stomach whenever we walk by and i think of the kids that have been hurt by him and how i couldnt bare to imagine if it happened to either of my kids.  

we are likely in wait and see mode, but, what can law enforcement do to the kid? he's 12.  can he be taken to a home for treatment etc? i believe that our school district can not allow him into school, so maybe they will move because of that.  i just don't know what to do.

Hopefully. Unfortunately the system kinda sucks for juvenile offenders. Dark could tell you more. Better they start counseling now if they can. CPS could still take him at that age I believe. The kid I knew definitely had been abused, so had his sister. He never got too far with me and I didn't really understand what had happened until I was a little older. I managed to give him a black eye once, so hah. Over time and counseling and unfortunately for him, a lot of moves/expulsions/a brush or two with incarceration, he finally got an associates degree and seems to have an ok life, if a little alternative. 

It's a horrible situation and I'm sorry you have to face this. With the kid I dealt with, my parents dealt with it by keeping a hawk's eye on us if he was around. I wasn't allowed to their house (I was friends with his sister- he'd tag along) if both grandparents weren't home. I was a pretty trustworthy kid and was expected to be very forthright with my parents about where I was going/what I was doing, and was strictly timed if I was out on bike rides or something. Seemed like a bummer as a kid- but now I know it was their way of making sure nothing weird happened. If you don't, see if you can have an open dialogue with the other parents/neighbors- form a network to keep an eye on things. It's not rude if there's a problem. Enough reports and law enforcement will know to hang around if necessary. And if it gets worse- there's no shame in moving. 

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Posted

It's that time again — weather reporters standing outside in a hurricane telling people to not venture out. I like the Second Amendment, but it ought to be illegal. It could encourage people to venture out and give people the idea it's not as bad out as they thought. We've all seen the histrionics and outright faking these "reporters" do. They're not doing a public service, they're angling for ratings.

Posted (edited)
22 minutes ago, PASabreFan said:

It's that time again — weather reporters standing outside in a hurricane telling people to not venture out. I like the Second Amendment, but it ought to be illegal. It could encourage people to venture out and give people the idea it's not as bad out as they thought. We've all seen the histrionics and outright faking these "reporters" do. They're not doing a public service, they're angling for ratings.

Are the reporters shooting at the hurricane or something?

 

Marion, the scene you have described is horrifying.

Edited by Eleven
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Posted
22 minutes ago, PASabreFan said:

It's that time again — weather reporters standing outside in a hurricane telling people to not venture out. I like the Second Amendment, but it ought to be illegal. It could encourage people to venture out and give people the idea it's not as bad out as they thought. We've all seen the histrionics and outright faking these "reporters" do. They're not doing a public service, they're angling for ratings.

Especially since these the shelter these reporters have is hidden off camera.  They're at very little risk, but play it up very differently.

Posted

Sorry to pile on the darkness but blasting this sh!t into the internet stratosphere seems to help lower my stress level enough to function..

 

My dad decided, against better judgement, to fly to Chicago for work yesterday, despite a nasty brush with bronchitis this weekend. Well, surprise surprise, he's in the hospital as of this morning (impacted bowel from codeine). They're going to keep him overnight. It's good, I guess. Maybe they'll stumble into figuring out what's wrong with him. 

But in addition to this, my mom just decided to tell me that she's known for a while that her kidneys are failing. The stress of dealing with him and her diabetes are taking their toll. She's 60. 

 

Can the bad news train f*ck off yet please 

  • Sad 2
Posted
25 minutes ago, shrader said:

Especially since these the shelter these reporters have is hidden off camera.  They're at very little risk, but play it up very differently.

I dunno. Cantori and Abrams from TWC are openly walking up and down the street where they are.

Posted
27 minutes ago, Eleven said:

Are the reporters shooting at the hurricane or something?

Just checking to see who's on their toes. Knowledge of the Constitution is so, so critical in these times. Thank you.

Posted
46 minutes ago, josie said:

Sorry to pile on the darkness but blasting this sh!t into the internet stratosphere seems to help lower my stress level enough to function..

 

My dad decided, against better judgement, to fly to Chicago for work yesterday, despite a nasty brush with bronchitis this weekend. Well, surprise surprise, he's in the hospital as of this morning (impacted bowel from codeine). They're going to keep him overnight. It's good, I guess. Maybe they'll stumble into figuring out what's wrong with him. 

But in addition to this, my mom just decided to tell me that she's known for a while that her kidneys are failing. The stress of dealing with him and her diabetes are taking their toll. She's 60. 

 

Can the bad news train f*ck off yet please 

Jeez, when it rains it pours.  My father in law has pretty tell tale signs of skin cancer, but refuses to see a doctor because he is a Christian Scientist (not to be confused with Scientology) but he believes that you can cure any ailment through prayer alone.  in fact, he hasnt seen a doctor since college, so who know's what else could be wrong.  i shudder to think. 

hope your parents get better and you get some better news.

1 hour ago, Eleven said:

Are the reporters shooting at the hurricane or something?

 

Marion, the scene you have described is horrifying.

Indeed, my wife talked to some Sheriff friends of ours and they said that right now, there is nothing we can do other than keeping an eye on our kids and minimizing any risk.

Posted
1 hour ago, PASabreFan said:

I dunno. Cantori and Abrams from TWC are openly walking up and down the street where they are.

They're still going to be fairly well protected from the 3 directions you don't see on screen, particularly behind the camera.  The lawyers would be all over them if they put these reporters and camera people in a legitimately risky location.

Posted
44 minutes ago, Wyldnwoody44 said:

After spending much time in Asia, I have just fitted my toiled with a sweet bidet, and it's amazing, heated everything too! 

Welcome to the big time.  Those things are the best thing ever invented.  Thanks Rome.

Posted
13 minutes ago, N S said:

Welcome to the big time.  Those things are the best thing ever invented.  Thanks Rome.

All right, you've given me the crack I needed to ask this question, as one who's never used a bidet. I mean... how clean can you possibly get? Does one wipe after it's done? Is it like washing your dishes, then putting them in the dishwasher?

Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Wyldnwoody44 said:

After spending much time in Asia, I have just fitted my toiled with a sweet bidet, and it's amazing, heated everything too! 

I need to know about this product.  Do you just fit it onto an existing fixture?  Did you need to hire a plumber?

2 minutes ago, PASabreFan said:

All right, you've given me the crack I needed to ask this question, as one who's never used a bidet. I mean... how clean can you possibly get? Does one wipe after it's done? Is it like washing your dishes, then putting them in the dishwasher?

It is a most wonderful feeling of rectal cleanliness.

Edited by Eleven
Posted
1 minute ago, Eleven said:

I need to know about this product.  Do you just fit it onto an existing fixture?  Did you need to hire a plumber?

It is a most wonderful feeling of rectal cleanliness.

I'm just so skeptical. What if the angle of attack is slightly off? You need, like, laser-guided precision.

Posted
10 minutes ago, PASabreFan said:

I'm just so skeptical. What if the angle of attack is slightly off? You need, like, laser-guided precision.

The more modern models actually use echolocation rather than laser for guidance.

 

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Posted

Now I am miffed.

I thought that Woodsie had a full bidet installed not just one of those ... other more stupid gadgets.

=====+

The awesomeness of an actual bidet can not be topped.  That is all.

28 minutes ago, PASabreFan said:

All right, you've given me the crack I needed to ask this question, as one who's never used a bidet. I mean... how clean can you possibly get? Does one wipe after it's done? Is it like washing your dishes, then putting them in the dishwasher?

This cannot be a serious inquiry, eh?

Posted

@eleven, Amazon Toto washlet and you'll see a variety of models, it fits in place of the toilet seat and can be done with minimal skill, they run around 200-300$ for the good ones.

 

@PASabreFanit has rear with pressure settings at touch of a button as well as a button to move the location, also has front bidet, it has built in deodorizer and pre bowl mist, 4 heat settings for seat and bidet water, and a built in dryer.

 

It makes you feel cleaner than you'll ever imagine, the US needs to follow suit in this case, Asia and Europe knows what's up 

2 minutes ago, N S said:

Now I am miffed.

I thought that Woodsie had a full bidet installed not just one of those ... other more stupid gadgets.

On the contrary, the toto ones are basically as good as the real thing and also 4k cheaper, the technology is nothing short of amazing 

Posted
56 minutes ago, Wyldnwoody44 said:

@eleven, Amazon Toto washlet and you'll see a variety of models, it fits in place of the toilet seat and can be done with minimal skill, they run around 200-300$ for the good ones.

 

@PASabreFanit has rear with pressure settings at touch of a button as well as a button to move the location, also has front bidet, it has built in deodorizer and pre bowl mist, 4 heat settings for seat and bidet water, and a built in dryer.

 

It makes you feel cleaner than you'll ever imagine, the US needs to follow suit in this case, Asia and Europe knows what's up 

On the contrary, the toto ones are basically as good as the real thing and also 4k cheaper, the technology is nothing short of amazing 

It's going to require an electrical outlet near the toilet, isn't it?

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