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Posted

ho ho hooly sh!t I think I have the world's craziest client....

 

this chick is such a crazy stereotype that I'm honestly wondering if it's a prank/setup.... it gets crazier every email and I'm seriously wondering when it'll be revealed that it was all a test to see just how much it takes for me to go "ok... wait a second... this is bonkers"

 

In short, she's an attractive woman in her early 30s who wants to be a sexy cartoon character with a show and now has a LAWYER set up to copyright her own logo/brand.... and I'd assume it's all total bunk if a woman who works at the agency that has gotten me several super legit gigs hadn't sent her my way... 

 

I can't tell if this is going to go in my "most amazing clients ever" file or the "nightmares that made me contemplate my own existence" pile. It could easily go either way I think... 

 

to top it off I have some sort of stomach flu situation going on right now and she does NOT like waiting... we went from "Hi I'm ___ and this is my idea, let me know your rates, I'm a well manicured broke girl" last night to "OK so here's no less than 100 adjectives to describe me and this pamela anderson cartoon i want to be based off and this song needs to be in my opening animated intro where I'm riding a unicorn or a cloud and here's my logo ideas, I've been on the phone with my lawyer all day it's CRAZY but i'm 0-60 let's go girl!"

 

She also says f*ck a lot. Which is odd for a client. 

 

 

Which one of you is it. Seriously. 

I have no f*ckin idea. :nana:

Attractive woman in her early 30s

 

PM me that number

Get it gurl.

Posted (edited)

This might be too much crazy for you.

Guaran-fu*kin-tee it. 

 

She gave me her instagram name for reference... lots of yachts and champagne and selfies and inspirational quotes and stuff about being high maintenance. I don't know. She seems like one of those people who's an absolutely blast as like... your exercise class instructor...

 

She's sent me about 7 emails today, each one is like taking a shot of fruity college girl liquor while being forced to dance Coyote Ugly style by gunpoint... I'm going to have a vocal fry by the end of this and d4rk is going to dump me. 

 

I'm very amused. And scared. If I refuse, and my body is found with my throat slit and covered in glitter.... 

Edited by Josie914
Posted

Jo, if it wasn't, like, your livelihood, I think coming up with insane clients to troll you with would be a hilarious pastime.

 

"Yeah, I want a logo that's an Andy Warhol-esque interpretation of an A-1 Abrams tank, but like, a SEXY tank."

Posted (edited)

Jo, if it wasn't, like, your livelihood, I think coming up with insane clients to troll you with would be a hilarious pastime.

 

"Yeah, I want a logo that's an Andy Warhol-esque interpretation of an A-1 Abrams tank, but like, a SEXY tank."

Dave, you can't even troll me well. I'd find that hilarious and fun to try to do. 

 

 

I think this person is just suuuuuper into everything she does. It's just... whoa... a ride. I'm venting here which probably is morally dubious but I think this is going to be a saga. 

 

I'm like the Daria chick who grunges around in a corner except for rare outbursts of acting human, and she is TOTALLY this character: 

tumblr_o6r625XH6F1vr03dxo1_500.gif

but like... raunchy....

 

 

 

Actual quotes from this one:

 

"No I am not bipolar, but I am A LOT of things" (this was after the 100+ adjectives describing her, which is fine I guess since I'm designing a cartoon of her...)

" I'm not bad looking and I definitely am explosive. I am super sensitive, super emotional, and extremely reactive."

 

 

I'm terrified I'll set off her sensitive, emotional, reactive side...

 

 

 

 

EDIT: Another email. And. 

 

"I have reached out to a couple other artists to see what they come up with. As chaotic as I can be I am also a perfectionist. I'm sure you understand that."

 

 

Oh looord if any of you want to send me booze, I'm gonna need it. Like, the hardest, angriest whiskey you can find... 

 

Edited by Josie914
Posted

Dave, you can't even troll me well. I'd find that hilarious and fun to try to do.

 

 

I think this person is just suuuuuper into everything she does. It's just... whoa... a ride. I'm venting here which probably is morally dubious but I think this is going to be a saga.

 

I'm like the Daria chick who grunges around in a corner except for rare outbursts of acting human, and she is TOTALLY this character:

tumblr_o6r625XH6F1vr03dxo1_500.gif

but like... raunchy....

 

 

 

Actual quotes from this one:

 

"No I am not bipolar, but I am A LOT of things" (this was after the 100+ adjectives describing her, which is fine I guess since I'm designing a cartoon of her...)

" I'm not bad looking and I definitely am explosive. I am super sensitive, super emotional, and extremely reactive."

 

 

I'm terrified I'll set off her sensitive, emotional, reactive side...

 

 

 

 

EDIT: Another email. And.

 

"I have reached out to a couple other artists to see what they come up with. As chaotic as I can be I am also a perfectionist. I'm sure you understand that."

 

 

Oh looord if any of you want to send me booze, I'm gonna need it. Like, the hardest, angriest whiskey you can find...

 

Every other artist is gonna nope the hell out and you're gonna be left holding the bag :lol:

Posted

Broke my screen, car just broke down. ###### this week

:(

 

Well, boy have I got the woman to cheer you up... 

 

j/k. Sorry man, that sucks. 

Posted

I would say she's already found him. 

OH SHIIIT 

 

were you in Chicago by any chance, Wild? Oh wait, she just informed me she was traveling for work.... WIIIIILD NOOOOOOO

Posted

:(

 

Well, boy have I got the woman to cheer you up... 

 

j/k. Sorry man, that sucks. 

I would say she's already found him. 

OH SHIIIT 

 

were you in Chicago by any chance, Wild? Oh wait, she just informed me she was traveling for work.... WIIIIILD NOOOOOOO

This was perfect, thanks guys :lol:

 

What's wrong with your car? I bet the problem isn't as stupid as the one I induced in my car a few weeks ago.

Previous mechanic screwed it apparently. Radiator blew up as I got off the highway. It was already smoking so I called in to a different shop and before I got there it seized. 1200 to fix, and at 144k it's not worth it. So, anyone have any recommendations for mid sized SUV's? I really like the Patriot, but it has terrible reviews.

 

What'd you do to your car?

Posted

Does anyone else remember phone numbers by athlete's names? It was always impressive when you didn't have to write it down, and now, dial it into your phone. It's a little dated for technology so maybe you used to but don't anymore -- you'll see what I mean from the names:

 

When a girl would tell you her phone number was 585-244-1288, it was Horton-Zhitnik and Kelly to Metzelaars. The 585 was local and a no-brainer.

 

Anyone else do this?

Posted

Does anyone else remember phone numbers by athlete's names? It was always impressive when you didn't have to write it down, and now, dial it into your phone. It's a little dated for technology so maybe you used to but don't anymore -- you'll see what I mean from the names:

 

When a girl would tell you her phone number was 585-244-1288, it was Horton-Zhitnik and Kelly to Metzelaars. The 585 was local and a no-brainer.

 

Anyone else do this?

I'm a millennial and no longer know the phone numbers of anyone I speak to on a regular basis. 

Posted

I'm a millennial and no longer know the phone numbers of anyone I speak to on a regular basis. 

Not even Josie's?  I at least know my girlfriend's, mother's and sister's... just in case, ya know.

Posted

Does anyone else remember phone numbers by athlete's names? It was always impressive when you didn't have to write it down, and now, dial it into your phone. It's a little dated for technology so maybe you used to but don't anymore -- you'll see what I mean from the names:

 

When a girl would tell you her phone number was 585-244-1288, it was Horton-Zhitnik and Kelly to Metzelaars. The 585 was local and a no-brainer.

 

Anyone else do this?

 

No, but it's not a badidea. It reminds me a little of what 3words' solution to global location:

https://what3words.com/

Posted

Not even Josie's? I at least know my girlfriend's, mother's and sister's... just in case, ya know.

I know the area code and that's it.

 

I really should write a few down and keep them in my wallet. That would be smart.

I used to know yours when it started with "867-" because I used the song.

And that was like... Two phone numbers ago for me :lol:

Posted

I'm a millennial and no longer know the phone numbers of anyone I speak to on a regular basis. 

Now you see how easy you have it. Back in the day, when I had to walk uphill, both ways...

 

No, but it's not a badidea. It reminds me a little of what 3words' solution to global location:

https://what3words.com/

I have never heard of such a thing. Interesting. Three random words that mean nothing to me might be a little confusing, but maybe with my old age, I would get confused by my system and wonder if Kelly threw to Reed (1283) or Tasker (1289.)

Posted

Does anyone else remember phone numbers by athlete's names? It was always impressive when you didn't have to write it down, and now, dial it into your phone. It's a little dated for technology so maybe you used to but don't anymore -- you'll see what I mean from the names:

 

When a girl would tell you her phone number was 585-244-1288, it was Horton-Zhitnik and Kelly to Metzelaars. The 585 was local and a no-brainer.

 

Anyone else do this?

I should also mention that when I memorized and recited 483 digits of pi (in senior year of high school), I did something similar.  four-digit years, seven-digit phone numbers, and some others such as player numbers. B-)

Posted

I should also mention that when I memorized and recited 483 digits of pi (in senior year of high school), I did something similar.  four-digit years, seven-digit phone numbers, and some others such as player numbers. B-)

That's impressive. Was it an assigned task or just some weird fixation you had? How far along can you go now?

Posted

That's impressive. Was it an assigned task or just some weird fixation you had? How far along can you go now?

:D More like a weird fixation...

 

A combination of fascination/nerdyness, boycotting learning anything in English class (where I did all of my studying), and the hilarity of getting my name on a plaque in the Math Showcase.  As co-captain of the Math Team, I convinced our advisor to reinstate the annual pi competition on Pi Day that year.

 

And I can go 14 digits now, apparently.

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