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Top 10 things Thomas Vanek will do if he's still benched come Wednesday


GGM

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Posted

I have no prizes because I'm poor. Phantom asked for a guest writer, so I'll leave the judging of the best "Number 1" and any prizes up to him.

 

Number 10 - Tries to convince the peewee intermission shooters that he'd be perfect for the lead role in their school play "Goldie Locks".

 

Number 9 - Scopes out the hottest chicks in the arena so he can pay a "visit" to their seat right before the Kiss Cam.

 

Number 8 - Tries to deke out the security guard on the way to the press box...Loses his nachos in the process.

 

Number 7 - Considers trying out for goalie, as it may be his best chance of getting back into the lineup.

 

Number 6 - Downloads RJ ringtones from Cingular.

 

Number 5 - Points out to the Why Guy that there is a section above the 200s, and yes, they really DO want free T-shirts.

 

Number 4 - Gives the intermission blimp the night off, using his head to float around the rink between periods.

 

Number 3 - Finally has enough time away to file his sexual harrassment suit against Henrik Tallinder.

 

Number 2 - Calls Toronto every 5 minutes to ensure that their phones are still working.

 

Number 1 - [insert your line here]

Posted

He'll sit in the press box and turn all the televisions to American Idol....then he'll expose his Ryan Seacrest tattoo and say "I got this one because he is my idol...someone who's generic and doesn't try very hard...plus he's cute." Then he'll rip off his mask and reveal that it's been Miro Satan all along

Posted

Great job GGM! I think I might announce my retirement from list-writing now. You know, so I can take my kids back to Czech Republic before they become too "Americanized."

 

OK, here's my offering.

 

Corners Dominik Hasek to get some tips on how to keep a groin warm during long periods of inactivity.

Posted

It seems that Blue's comment is the people's choice, and since Phantom's partiality has been comprimized since he submitted an entry (we all know what HE'D do to get a Sabres program), I guess the "prize" goes to him.

 

Labatt, please take this "get out of drunken verbal abuse from GGM" card with my compliments and congratulations!

Posted

It seems that Blue's comment is the people's choice, and since Phantom's partiality has been comprimized since he submitted an entry (we all know what HE'D do to get a Sabres program), I guess the "prize" goes to him.

 

Labatt, please take this "get out of drunken verbal abuse from GGM" card with my compliments and congratulations!

I respectfully decline any compensation for my creative ramblings. That being said, I'd like to thank the academy for this award... :P

Posted

Sorry for the delay, but after further review by the gents in the war room in Toronto, the winner is Rabbit! Labbatt's stick was over the height of the crossbar.

You can take away my award, but you can't break my spirit! :P

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