ThePhantomListWriter Posted March 31, 2006 Report Posted March 31, 2006 We're still playing for that 1994 playoff edition Sabre Magazine. No one wants it. None of the pages are stuck together, I swear! --- From the Home Office in Mike Foligno?s Basement, the Top Ten Pleasantly Surprising Things About Having Metal Rods Inserted to Straighten Your Nose, According to Jay McKee? Number 10? Satisfaction of finding out afterwards that you actually helped Bush and Company test new way of torturing terror suspects... Number 9? Manipulation dislodged jelly bean young Jay stuffed up his nose in April 1979? Number 8? Abercrombie & Fitch modeling offers suddenly pouring in? Number 7? Swears, for first time in his life, he can ?smell what The Rock is cooking?? Number 6? ?but, at the same time, oddly enough, is no longer bothered by those stinky opponent ?face washes?? Number 5? New nickname ?Walrus? way better than ?Cheese?? Number 4? For brief time after procedure, he could pick up hometown Kingston, Ontario radio station on his iPod? Number 3? Stimulation of frontal lobe, area of brain that controls complex reasoning, allowed him to realize for first time that ?Fan Meter? on Jumbotron is an absolute farce!? Number 2? Nostrils now spew smoke whenever Sabres score at home, which is pretty damn cool? And the Number 1 Pleasantly Surprising Thing About Having Metal Rods Inserted to Straighten Your Nose, According to Jay McKee?
mediumishot Posted March 31, 2006 Report Posted March 31, 2006 Number 1- no matter how it turns out, he still wont look as bad as darius Kasperitis
Eleven Posted April 1, 2006 Report Posted April 1, 2006 Pre-game intro announcer now reads: Jay McKee - A man barely alive . . . Gentlemen, we can rebuild him . . . we have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man. Jay McKee will be that man. Better than he was before, Stronger, Faster . . ."
mphs mike Posted April 1, 2006 Report Posted April 1, 2006 Jay's gametime pleasure is dramatically increased because he now picks up the RJ/Batman broadcast we fans all enjoy listening to during the game!
Taro T Posted April 1, 2006 Report Posted April 1, 2006 1. You just haven't lived until you've had an airport "security" wand rubbed in your face.
SDS Posted April 1, 2006 Report Posted April 1, 2006 Hearing women ask, "Is that a roll of quarters in your nose or are you just happy to see me?" never gets old!
puma2577 Posted April 2, 2006 Report Posted April 2, 2006 It gives forum posters a reason to write about me that doesn't deal with me wanting too much money or that my last good year was next to Rhett.
ThePhantomListWriter Posted April 3, 2006 Author Report Posted April 3, 2006 Close call, but I'm going with dave_b. Dave, PM me with your address if you want the program. Anybody else want to take a shot at writing the list this week? You guys are good. Did you used to write for Letterman?
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