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Posted

I'm not about to take sides here, but I feel the "don't tell parents how to parent if you don't have kids" is akin to not being able to criticize a GM or a coach or a player if you've never been "in the game." Just not a fan of that particular style of retort.

Posted

I feel the "don't tell parents how to parent if you don't have kids" is akin to not being able to criticize a GM or a coach or a player if you've never been "in the game." Just not a fan of that particular style of retort.

 

It is not akin to that. At all. It is not akin to anything, frankly. Sui generis, as they say.

 

More knowledge from CK:

 

 

"What a terrible mother. Why doesn't she answer her child's questions? When have a child, I will answer ALL of their questions!"

Posted

Ha. Nice.

 

 

Easy there, kimosabe.

 

You're officially out of your depth.

 

 

I mean, FFS. A-fricking-men.

 

But maybe the babies should be placed in protective bubbles. Bubble-wrapped, possibly? That would (might?) address the opprobrious risks discussed upthread.

I don't know what you're upset about. I'm simply pointing out your risk assessment. You clearly didn't view those situations as risky. I might be inclined to argue otherwise, and for good reason.

 

Parents arguably have to balance risk with necessity. Putting your baby in a car is a risk we've decided is acceptable because of the necessity of it.

 

What if you take a baby to a concert and it suffers hearing loss? How does that risk assessment look?

Posted

I don't know what you're upset about. I'm simply pointing out your risk assessment. You clearly didn't view those situations as risky. I might be inclined to argue otherwise, and for good reason.

 

Parents arguably have to balance risk with necessity. Putting your baby in a car is a risk we've decided is acceptable because of the necessity of it.

 

What if you take a baby to a concert and it suffers hearing loss? How does that risk assessment look?

 

I'm getting prickly because you opined that I've taken ill-advised risks with my kids. I'd counsel against doing that.

 

You're toying around with abstract concepts -- you're essentially in the same realm as "Larsson can absolutely become an effective lock down center."  I'm making reference to the very essence of my purpose on the planet. The fact that you don't have kids of your own is relevant here, but not dispositive. If another parent were to take the same position with me (HUGELY unlikely, btw), I'd be telling them to swivel.

Posted

I'm not about to take sides here, but I feel the "don't tell parents how to parent if you don't have kids" is akin to not being able to criticize a GM or a coach or a player if you've never been "in the game." Just not a fan of that particular style of retort.

I could just as easily argue that when someone who has experience with something actually explains to me how it works and shares successes and failures they have experienced, it's probably smart for me to at least consider taking their opinion on the matter into account. 

Posted

I could just as easily argue that when someone who has experience with something actually explains to me how it works and shares successes and failures they have experienced, it's probably smart for me to at least consider taking their opinion on the matter into account.

Oh, absolutely. I never intended to imply otherwise, and apologize if I came off that way.

 

I just disagree that having kids puts anyone on an infallible mountaintop upon which the peons down below have no ability to question what comes down from above. Many of us without kids have close friends with them, so it's not like not having kids means zero experience and zero worthwhile knowledge.

Posted

I'm getting prickly because you opined that I've taken ill-advised risks with my kids. I'd counsel against doing that.

 

You're toying around with abstract concepts -- you're essentially in the same realm as "Larsson can absolutely become an effective lock down center." I'm making reference to the very essence of my purpose on the planet. The fact that you don't have kids of your own is relevant here, but not dispositive. If another parent were to take the same position with me (HUGELY unlikely, btw), I'd be telling them to swivel.

Then let's set straight what the parenting prerogative is:

 

I accept full responsibility for everything that happens to my kid regardless of how stupid it looks in hindsight.

 

That appears to be the argument to me.

Posted

I'm not about to take sides here, but I feel the "don't tell parents how to parent if you don't have kids" is akin to not being able to criticize a GM or a coach or a player if you've never been "in the game." Just not a fan of that particular style of retort.

 

It was more like, don't judge until you've had the same pull of "do things with people your own age" along side "baby on board".

Posted

It was more like, don't judge until you've had the same pull of "do things with people your own age" along side "baby on board".

Fair. I currently fall under the category of" people your own age" and most of my close friends are the ones with the babies on board. They have not yet allowed me to toss the babies overboard, so I'm changing strategies to being cool Uncle True and helping them make their parents' lives miserable. It's great fun! :D

Posted

Fair. I currently fall under the category of" people your own age" and most of my close friends are the ones with the babies on board. They have not yet allowed me to toss the babies overboard, so I'm changing strategies to being cool Uncle True and helping them make their parents' lives miserable. It's great fun! :D

Oh, that's the best. Just when my brothers and sisters in law were getting sleepy eyed about 8 o'clock, I'd get the little ones all wound up but good. Sneak em candy. Tell scary stories. The parents need to be punished for releasing more crotch turds on the planet.

Posted

Then let's set straight what the parenting prerogative is:

 

I accept full responsibility for everything that happens to my kid regardless of how stupid it looks in hindsight.

 

That appears to be the argument to me.

Fixed that for you.

You can stop after "I accept full responsibility for everything that happens to my kid" because that is the job, man. Even if something happens to them that you KNOW is not your fault, you FEEL like it is. Lots of things looks stupid in hindsight. All the moms who smoked while pregnant in the 60s and 70s look like idiots now. You do the best you can with the info you have at the time.

Funny I noticed this discussion today, I actually have a parenting issue somewhat relevant ... I don't have time to get into it now but I may tonight ... it will have to be its own thread ... 

Posted

Oh, that's the best. Just when my brothers and sisters in law were getting sleepy eyed about 8 o'clock, I'd get the little ones all wound up but good. Sneak em candy. Tell scary stories. The parents need to be punished for releasing more crotch turds on the planet.

 

Crotch turds.  Out of all the euphemisms I've heard, I might like this one the best.

Posted

Then let's set straight what the parenting prerogative is:

 

I accept full responsibility for everything that happens to my kid regardless of how stupid it looks in hindsight.

 

That appears to be the argument to me.

We're not setting anything straight. The road traveled to get to this point is too crooked, too warped.

 

To your proposition above: Good parents *do* accept responsibility for their children's safety and well-being - without any qualifications. I think they actually do more than that. Quite a bit more.

 

You're a smart guy, a very smart guy. But you need a Hubris tune-up on this matter. There's an underlying arrogance at play here that ill becomes you.

Posted

We're not setting anything straight. The road traveled to get to this point is too crooked, too warped.

 

To your proposition above: Good parents *do* accept responsibility for their children's safety and well-being - without any qualifications. I think they actually do more than that. Quite a bit more.

 

You're a smart guy, a very smart guy. But you need a Hubris tune-up on this matter. There's an underlying arrogance at play here that ill becomes you.

You're not wrong. It stems from annoyance with everything seemingly becoming kid friendly, as opposed to simply kid tolerant. Maybe once you become a parent you decide that everything should be kid friendly for your convenience. I'm not there yet, so what you as a parent see as great, I view as obnoxious.

 

What sticks in my craw is the notion that I'm not allowed to hold that view.

Posted

Now I'm really lost.

 

Maybe?

 

There's more than a seed of agreement in what you seem to be saying (now).

 

I'm not a fan of the collapsing of the adult realm and child realm. The former can reasonably accommodate the latter, but asking the former to change its nature to accommodate the latter is a bad idea. A terrible idea. And a scourge of modern culture.

Posted

Wait before you were worried about the risks for the kids now you're just complaining that everything is too kid friendly? those don't seem like the same thing to me.

It's all related. Some kid gets hit with a puck and the reaction will be "Ohh, maybe we shouldn't have open practices anymore." Some kid falls off an adult chair at a bar and now that bar needs high chairs. Some kid might hear a bad word at a hockey game and now the ushers have to shush you for using adult language. Every rock song on the radio is censored now because some kid might hear Green Day say sh*t at Wegmans. Where does it stop?

 

I'm not going to feel bad about being a little selfish. Not yet. Not everything is for kids. But that doesn't seem to stop people from trying to make everything that way. It rarely seems to stop at "subject your kids at their own risk" these days. Because evidently parents aren't interested in actually accepting responsibility.

 

I have nothing more to say here. I'm clearly going to be overshadowed by the spawners no matter what. The world is your minivan.

Posted

Is this the reason for when some kid is a brat in public but I can't tell it to knock it off?

 

Animals protect their young with unnerving ferocity.  Proceed at your own risk.

Posted

I have nothing more to say here. I'm clearly going to be overshadowed by the spawners no matter what. The world is your minivan.

Knock it off.

 

You evidently had a decent point to make, but you said a bunch of other (not so good) stuff in advance of that.

Posted

Animals protect their young with unnerving ferocity. Proceed at your own risk.

I'd like to think that we're smarter than animals. Well, 2am Walmart shoppers excluded
Posted

I'd like to think that we're smarter than animals. Well, 2am Walmart shoppers excluded

 

We're all animals when the right trigger is tripped.

 

Just look at Smell over there, drooling and growling.  :P

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