I am Defecting Posted March 15, 2015 Report Posted March 15, 2015 The syndrome develops in response to a three-stage cycle found in chronic losing situations. First, tension builds in the relationship. Second, the tanking partner releases tension via losing while blaming the winner for having caused the losing. Third, the losing partner makes gestures of contrition. However, the partner does not find solutions to avoid another phase of tension building and release so the losing cycle repeats. The repetition of the losing despite the winners attempts to "make nice" results in the winning partner feeling at fault for not preventing a repeat cycle of losing. However, since the winner is not at fault and the loser is internally driven by the tanker’s need to control, this self-blame results in feelings of helplessness rather than empowerment. The feeling of being both responsible for and helpless to stop the losing leads in turn to depression and passivity. This learned depression and passivity makes it difficult for the winning partner to marshal the resources and support system needed to leave. Quote
I am Defecting Posted March 15, 2015 Author Report Posted March 15, 2015 I am indebted to Wikipedia's entry for Battered Wife Sydrome. Be sure to donate to them at some unspecified future date, if you like. I have had realization. I will not go back to losing partner. Quote
I am Defecting Posted March 15, 2015 Author Report Posted March 15, 2015 Does Yuri know? Yuri and I, are like corned beef and cabbage. Me, Yuri, Gogol (that rascal), and Zhitnik, are part of an Ukranian expat community named, Friends of the Poles, here in Buffalo Dominik Hasek is practically a member. You see how he held the sword from Pegula? He held it by the blade to show that it was a useless sword, not even sharpened, good for nothing. You see, they didn't trust Dominik to wield a sharpened blade, because he is for winning, and may have used that sword towards said purpose. Quote
nobody Posted March 15, 2015 Report Posted March 15, 2015 i am not a battered fan. I HATE YOU..................i love you. Quote
darksabre Posted March 15, 2015 Report Posted March 15, 2015 Yuri and I, are like corned beef and cabbage. Me, Yuri, Gogol (that rascal), and Zhitnik, are part of an Ukranian expat community named, Friends of the Poles, here in Buffalo Dominik Hasek is practically a member. You see how he held the sword from Pegula? He held it by the blade to show that it was a useless sword, not even sharpened, good for nothing. You see, they didn't trust Dominik to wield a sharpened blade, because he is for winning, and may have used that sword towards said purpose. I love this entire post. Quote
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