SabresFanInRochester Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 I looked at yesterday's lineup and thought -- there's no way this team can pull out a win. And then they did. I drew a parallel to the movie Major League, when the owner wanted the team to tank so she could move them and she did some crazy things to promote losing. She sold their jet and replaced it with a cargo plane. She sold their charter bus and replaced it with a jalopy. And locker room luxuries were sold or left in disrepair. So what would you do as the fantasy owner to ensure a dead last finish? (And come on... if you're anti-tank, are you really hoping for a run to 28th place???) I think the fire alarm would mysteriously wake every player during the middle of the night during hotel stays. For that matter, the team would be required to stay in a hotel for home games. Water bottles would be filled with Mongolia Premium Vodka. The skate sharpener would round over their blade edges instead of sharpen. Remotely controlled exploding pucks would detonate as a Sabres player threatens to score. We would have to pay a Roger Zorn, and to me, none better than the starting goalie. Bonus for each of his "oh-lay" antics. All equipment, including skates, would be wet before the players get dressed. That has to be uncomfortable. What would you do? Quote
thewookie1 Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 I'd just put drowsiness inducing medicine in all the water and Gatorade in the locker room, simple yet effective in creating a sluggish team. Quote
SabresFanInRochester Posted February 27, 2015 Author Report Posted February 27, 2015 I'd just put drowsiness inducing medicine in all the water and Gatorade in the locker room, simple yet effective in creating a sluggish team. Roofies??? Quote
LGR4GM Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 Roofies??? QUICK BATMAN!!! TO THE YOUTUBE!!!! Quote
woods-racer Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 I'd bring Leino back, tell GM and Coach he gets 20+ minutes a game or else..... Done deal, 30th is locked... Quote
Marvelo Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 Simple, just forfeit the rest of the games. Quote
sicknfla Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 Bring back Vanek, Pominville, Regehr, Sekera, Miller, Ott, Gaustad, Leopold, Erhoff, Myers, Stafford, and Kassian. That group wouldn't have won 6-3 last night. Quote
woods-racer Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 Bring back Vanek, Pominville, Regehr, Sekera, Miller, Ott, Gaustad, Leopold, Erhoff, Myers, Stafford, and Kassian. That group wouldn't have won 6-3 last night. Are you suggesting..... oh this is bad..... an all Darcy lineup ?? What happened to Happy thoughts? Just joking, but it would work, heck we lived it, we know it will work. Just not sure if we will live through it a second time. Quote
bcsaberks Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 It's a really good question. What are they gonna do? Do they actually tell Gionta to throw games? Would he whisper it in the room? I use Gionta as example as the captain and a vet and one who is locked in here. As opposed to Flynn/Mitchell etc who are like "F this, every game is a contract day". Quote
woods-racer Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 It's a really good question. What are they gonna do? Do they actually tell Gionta to throw games? Would he whisper it in the room? I use Gionta as example as the captain and a vet and one who is locked in here. As opposed to Flynn/Mitchell etc who are like "F this, every game is a contract day". I will say they are playing to be traded, maybe come Tuesday, they will not even need to whisper, they will just understand? Quote
Randall Flagg Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 I would take a huge dump on Ted Nolan's desk. Just because. Quote
3putt Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 I would run a contest on Sabres.com where you right a 100 word reason why you should be a Sabre. The daily winner get's the Vinz experience with the added bonus that you actually start and play until carried off on a stretcher. Great marketing, involves the fanbase in the quest and should be some must see tv. win, win win. :P Or in an effort to build a human capital base across OneBuffalo I would have Donnie Henderson behind the bench for the Sabres and TN reviewing NFL combine film with Whaley. Quote
MattPie Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 I would run a contest on Sabres.com where you right a 100 word reason why you should be a Sabre. The daily winner get's the Vinz experience with the added bonus that you actually start and play until carried off on a stretcher. Great marketing, involves the fanbase in the quest and should be some must see tv. win, win win. :P Or in an effort to build a human capital base across OneBuffalo I would have Donnie Henderson behind the bench for the Sabres and TN reviewing NFL combine film with Whaley. Can I sue the NHL for my injuries afterward? Quote
bcsaberks Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 I will say they are playing to be traded, maybe come Tuesday, they will not even need to whisper, they will just understand? True so maybe next week "ok guys, let's just play out the season for the boss, you won't be evaluated here forward". Presumably they know where they stand in the org. Still, if they stand on the outside (who's gonna trade for Flynn? Benoit? Meszaros?), don't they want to keep selling-out? I suppose if only 2-3 guys hopefully they can't do too much damage. Quote
Hoss Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 I'd bring Leino back, tell GM and Coach he gets 20+ minutes a game or else..... Done deal, 30th is locked... Leino is out for the season with an injury. Quote
TrueBlueGED Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 Just when I thought your google maps post of the bridge from last night was the best non-text post ever on here, you go and do this. :worthy: Quote
3putt Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 Can I sue the NHL for my injuries afterward? Of course not. assumption of the risk. But think of the self promotion and branding opportunities! You could be an internet phenomena! Famous for being famous! Quote
NNYSABRESMAN Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 I would go all Tonya Harding on Neuvirth's knees.....with out his pad's on of course!!! Quote
woods-racer Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 Leino is out for the season with an injury. Let me guess, there's a buy out clause on his contract.... Quote
woods-racer Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 Hookers and blow. go all Charlie Sheen..... nice! Quote
Huckleberry Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 Put some laxatives in the waterbotlles of last game scorers. Quote
sicknfla Posted February 27, 2015 Report Posted February 27, 2015 Put some laxatives in the waterbotlles of last game scorers. Exactly. Let them shart themselves!! Quote
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