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The Official New York Islanders Can Stink Thread. Also, the St. Louis Blues Can Try To As Well, But Probably Won't Be Good At It.


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Posted (edited)

The Buffalo Sabres are in possession of the following selections relevant to this thread in the all-important 2015 NHL Entry Draft (

):
  • 1st round selection from the New York Islanders. Stupid, stupid Garth Snow.
  • 1st round selection from the St Louis Blues.
  • 2nd round selection from the New York Islanders. Stupid, stupid Garth Snow.

Therefore, it in the interest of the Sabres that both of these franchises immediately begin sucking a severe amount of testicle. Post your updates and curmudgeonings about these two teams here.

 

128823775642366416.jpg

 

Team: New York Islanders

Last five regular season finishes:

2014: 26th, 79 points, drafted 5th

2013: 16th, 94 adjusted points, drafted 15th

2012: 27th, 79 points, drafted 4th

2011: 27th, 73 points, drafted 5th

2010: 26th, 79 points, drafted 5th

Average: 24th, 81 points, drafted 7th

Approximate chance of winning the draft lottery: 4.7%

Logo Ranking: 25th

Big offseason pickups: ######in' nothing. Stupid, stupid Garth Snow.

But Liger wants you to know:

The islanders added Grabovski. Kulemin. Halak. That's just there big off season acquisitions abs didn't include depth players like Conacher.

 

Summary: The owner of the lowly New York Islanders has been unable to fix the biggest problem with the New York Islanders: himself. Charles Wang ###### everything up and Sabres fans should be rooting strongly for Wang to do everything he can to help his team out this season. He's the King Anti-Midas, where everything he touches turns to ######. And his laughable hiring and illogical retention of his General Manager Garth Snow is his crown jewel. Even the team's current mascot, Sparky the Dragon, was a cross-promotional trainwreck with an AFL team that went defunct five years ago. This is the team's last year in the league-worst, dilapidated Nassau Coliseum before they move to the overpriced, horribly sight-lined Barclay's Center. One of the few bright spots on the team is John Tavares, who is dragging the rest of his team tooth and nail, to the good graces of just-competent-enough Head Coach Jack Capuano. He was good enough to let Kyle Okposo finish ahead of him in the points race. I'm not joking though- beyond Tavares, Okposo, and Nielsen, no one on this team can play hockey. Andrew MacDonald lead the defensemen with 24 points in 63 games, but was a -22 on the season, good for 866th of 886 NHL players.

 

elliott.JPG

 

Team: St. Louis Blues

Last five regular season finishes:

2014: 4th, 111 points, drafted 21st

2013: 6th, 103 adjusted points, drafted 22nd (traded to CAL)

2012: 3rd, 109 points, drafted 25th

2011: 20th, 87 points, drafted 11th (traded to COL)

2010: 15th, 90 points, drafted 14th

Average: 10th, 100 points, drafted 19th

Approximate chance of winning the draft lottery: butthole%

Logo Ranking: 3rd

Big offseason pickups: I'm too lazy to look them up.

 

Summary: A not very well-liked Ken Hitchcock trolled the ###### out of the league in 2012 when he won the Jack Adams Award for finally shaving that stupid mustache off his face and horse-whipping a young Blues team from 20th to 3rd in regular season standings. However, new-found regular season success hasn't translated to playoff success (see also: San Jose Sharks), as the Blues have only won 8 of 21 playoff games and one series. This is beneficial news for Sabres fans because it means that their first round draft choice is probably 5-10 spots better than it would be. Despite turning down the services of Ryan Miller, the Blues believe they're not going to get much worse by riding Brian Elliot, who hasn't played more than 38 games in a season for the Blues, and Jake Allen, who hasn't played more than 16 games, period. The Blues season - and the Sabres first round selection - hinges on Elliott's ability to not ###### this up and/or avoid fatigue. Sabres fans should already be on his twitter feed posting beer and steakhouse advertisements so that his physical training goes right to ######. However, with former Sabres goalie coach Jim Corsi on board and his record of skinny-as-###### meth-addict-looking body weights of his protege goalies, this could be a tough sell.

Edited by IKnowPhysics
Posted (edited)

replace curse words with ###### ex-players. Go leino yourself, eat a bag of connoly

well I wanna go leino some roy but i got a case of runny connoly and aint no roy gonna leino a guy with a case of explosive connoly......... oo and may the Islanders win column be as barren as a cross dressing Python Edited by drnkirishone
Posted

The islanders added Grabovski. Kulemin. Halak. That's just there big off season acquisitions abs didn't include depth players like Conacher. So when you say in the first post the isles did nothing this off-season you're flat out wrong.

Posted

The St Louis Blues, have added this offseason Brian Boyle and Paul Stastny. They also resigned Ott and Brian Elliot and will be promoting Jake Allen to the active roster. How much of an impact this will have is unclear but they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west. Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

Posted

The St Louis Blues, have added this offseason Brian Boyle and Paul Stastny. They also resigned Ott and Brian Elliot and will be promoting Jake Allen to the active roster. How much of an impact this will have is unclear but they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west. Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

 

THis is very much true.

Posted
they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west. Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

 

Agreed. I believe the major factor commanding the position of our draft pick isn't whether they'll make the playoffs, but whether they can punch through the first round.

Posted

The St Louis Blues, have added this offseason Brian Boyle and Paul Stastny. They also resigned Ott and Brian Elliot and will be promoting Jake Allen to the active roster. How much of an impact this will have is unclear but they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west. Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

 

I thought Brian Boyle signed with Tampa....

Posted

The St Louis Blues, have added this offseason Brian Boyle and Paul Stastny. They also resigned Ott and Brian Elliot and will be promoting Jake Allen to the active roster. How much of an impact this will have is unclear but they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west. Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

 

The Con argument with the Blues may go like this:

 

Hitchcock ain't gonna surprise anybody. It is hard to keep a team fresh playing his system.

This topic is OLD. A NEW topic should be started unless there is a VERY SPECIFIC REASON to revive this one.

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