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Posted

Now that we have seen the new GM in action and his stamp has certainly been put on the team....it's only fair to reflect and compare the 2 men who have led the Sabres front office the past 17 years......

 

In honor of Nick Bakay, who ranks in Buffalo lore somewhere between Rick James, and the Kazoo.....I present: "The Tale of the Tape - Tim Murray vs. Darcy Regier"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Signature Transaction.....

 

Darcy: Failing to sign Drury and Briere

 

Murray: High bidder on 4 dozen plaid shirts from Overstock.com

 

Advantage?.........Push

 

 

 

Last seen........

 

Murray: High Fiving his staff after signing Gionta and Moulson

 

Darcy: High Fiving his neighbor on the 12th green at Elma Meadows

 

Advantage?.........Murray

 

 

 

Biggest Nemesis.......

 

Darcy: A Fax Machine

 

Murray: Human Interaction

 

Advantage?.........Darcy

 

 

 

Is stuck in a room 80 feet away from.....

 

Darcy: His Wife

 

Murray: Ted Black

 

Advantage?........Push

 

 

 

 

Triglyceride Level......

 

Darcy: 138

 

Murray: 538

 

Advantage?........Darcy

 

 

Most often compared to......

 

Darcy: Niles Crane

 

Murray: Dwight Schrute

 

Advantage?......Darcy

 

 

 

Catch Phrase......

 

Darcy: "Don't come shop here!"

 

Murray: "We got our pee-pee slapped."

 

Advantage?........Darcy

 

 

 

Most likely to be seen drinking on a Friday night......

 

Darcy: A bottle of Zima

 

Murray: A bottle of Pepto Bismol

 

Advantage?........Push

 

 

 

Spent over a decade.......

 

Murray: Getting mentored by his Uncle until he was ready for his own gig

 

Darcy: Getting van rides from his Uncle until McGruff the Crime Dog came to school with a Stranger Danger coloring book

 

Advantage?..........Murray

 

 

 

Gift he gets his secretary for her birthday.......

 

Darcy: A basket of flowers and a gift card

 

Murray: "Who's that broad?"

 

Advantage?..........Darcy

 

 

So there you have it.....in a shocking turn of events....the clear advantage goes to....Darcy Regier?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted

:lol:

 

 

Response to barista's question: How would you like your coffee?

 

Darcy: "Make it skinny with skim, half-decaf, the free-trade hazelnut roast, please. Here's my punch card. 1 more and I get a free one, right? Is the last punch the free one, or do you have to punch the last punch with a purchase to get the free one? "

 

Murray: " What? My Coffee? A cup. Put it in a cup. Cream? Huh??.......Listen: Caffeine. Brown Liquid. Cup. This isn't about taste for me. I hope we don't have to do this everyday. Punch card? What? No. Just hand me the cup."

 

Advantage?: Push

Posted (edited)

My run at it (not all that humorous (I will try again)):

 

Perspectives on the free agent market ...

 

Darcy: Waits for the market to set itself. Sets low expectations on potential for attracting UFAs to Buffalo.

 

Murray: Finds it easy to spend money. Has faith that Buffalo is a favored UFA destination.

 

Advantage: Murray.

Edited by That Aud Smell
Posted

Spring cleaning:

 

Murray: Honey, why do we even have a food processor? Can I put this on craigslist?

 

Darcy: YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MIGHT NEED A TV GUIDE FROM 1984! I COULDN'T POSSIBLY THROW THAT AWAY.

 

Advantage: Murray.

Posted

Typical dinner while scouting on the road:

 

Darcy: Room service. Grilled chicken or broiled salmon. Seasonal vegetables. White wine from the room's mini-bar.

 

Murray: Burger. Collection of fried pub grub (wings, potato skins, jalapeno poppers, pickles). Whatever's on tap.

 

Advantage: Push*

 

*We all prefer Murray's order. We all should order like Darcy.

Posted

On meeting with the Buffalo Press:

 

Regier: If I speak more slowly, maybe you'll get bored and go away.

 

Murray: If I speak more slowly, maybe the words will get through to your neanderthal brains.

 

Advantage: Murray

Posted

Most violent moment of his life...

 

Darcy: Almost — almost! — stuck his finger in the video replay official's chest in Philly after No Goal II

 

Murray: Shot a man in Chicoutimi, just to watch him die

 

Advantage: Uhhhh, Murray

Posted

Most violent moment of his life...

 

Darcy: Almost — almost! — stuck his finger in the video replay official's chest in Philly after No Goal II

 

Murray: Shot a man in Chicoutimi, just to watch him die

 

Advantage: Uhhhh, Murray

 

Very nice.

Posted

Most violent moment of his life...

 

Darcy: Almost — almost! — stuck his finger in the video replay official's chest in Philly after No Goal II

 

Murray: Shot a man in Chicoutimi, just to watch him die

 

Advantage: Uhhhh, Murray

 

I can't do emoticons on my iPad, but picture one clapping.

Outstanding.

Posted

Attitude towards laundry:

 

Darcy: dirty clothes always go in the proper hamper and laundry must be done at least 2x/week.

 

Tim: The floor is the proper place for dirty clothes - it's a key component of the inventory system. If there's 8 boxers on the floor then there's 4 in the drawer.

 

Advantage: :unsure:

Posted

Gardening:

 

Darcy: "I must get down on my knees and slowly pluck the weeds out before planting."

 

Murray: "I killed the weeds with fire, lots of fire... and napalm."

 

Advantage: Murray

Posted

Christmas shopping on Black Friday

 

Darcy: Gets to the store promptly at Midnight with a list, browses the store, drives to another store and compares prices, drives to another store in another town to compare prices, buys everyone's third choice because all of the good stuff has been purchased now

 

Murray: Enlists the entire family to each go to different stores, with different shopping lists. Gets them there hours ahead of time to be first in line. Directs his shoppers via cell. Gets the best gifts at good sale prices. Orders another Scotch from the bar he was directing traffic from.

Posted

Choice of cars:

 

Murray: 2014 soft top jeep

 

Darcy: 2014 Volvo wagon

 

advantage: Darcy... Safety first

Posted

Christmas shopping on Black Friday

 

Darcy: Gets to the store promptly at Midnight with a list, browses the store, drives to another store and compares prices, drives to another store in another town to compare prices, buys everyone's third choice because all of the good stuff has been purchased now

 

Murray: Enlists the entire family to each go to different stores, with different shopping lists. Gets them there hours ahead of time to be first in line. Directs his shoppers via cell. Gets the best gifts at good sale prices. Orders another Scotch from the bar he was directing traffic from.

 

So who has the advantage?

Posted (edited)

So who has the advantage?

 

Advantage: Murray. He's drinking whisky.

 

 

I thought it was self evident. :P

Edited by weave
Posted

July 1st

 

Darcy: searches for his phone, dreading an interview, wondering what layers will fall through the cracks, talks with a couple AHL players' agents, signs AHLer, tells media its hard to convince players to come to Buffalo, takes a nap at 5pm, wakes up again to check on FA list, tells wife how hard it is to get players to Buffalo, eats, goes to bed

 

Murray: takes his phone out from under his pillow, feeds pet tigers, gives wife grocery list with a scouting report on each item listed, goes to the arena, talks with agents, trades for a guy, talks with more agents, signs a handful of quality players in 2 hrs, addresses the media, takes power nap on the trainer's table, talks to more agents and the pizza delivery boy, trades two hockey pucks and a Sabres flag for two sheet pizzas, talks to a few more agents, heads home, inspects wife's pick ups, eats, goes to bed with his trade notepad beside his bed

 

Advantage: Murray

Posted

Who would you rather be your neighbor?

 

Advantage Darcy

 

Who would you rather be your manager?

 

Advantage Darcy

 

Who has the better track record?

 

Advantage Darcy

 

Who will Sabres fans without real faith, other than what the Sabres tell them to believe, have faith in?

 

Advantage Murray.

Posted

Mowing the lawn:

 

DR: Asks Derek Roy to do it, then finds Roysie passed out drunk on the lawn, missing a flip flop.

 

TM: Asks PLF to do it, but shoves PLF off the mower shortly thereafter, to do it himself.

 

Advantage: TM

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