James Patrick

[dEnnis the Menace]

My friends wife is constantly going through his phone, she even responds to my texts as him sometimes. He's not up to any shenanigans that I know of, but that would drive me nuts if my wife did that.

 

my girlfriend uses my phone from time to time, and I use hers from time to time to text people of call, but never maliciously. Lately (since I've been ring shopping), I just delete parts of conversations out of my phone just in case lol.

[darksabre]

[/size]

 

quite right. it's a matter of degrees. i'm thankful that i never blacked out from booze (at least, not that i recall), but brownouts are far easier to come by. there was a period of time after i was married and had kids that i would periodically "brown out" after a night out with my wife - i'd get into it pretty good, she'd drive home, i'd have a night cap on the couch, fall asleep (pass out), wake up in the morning in bed, but have no or just a faint, fuzzy memory of (1) getting home, (2) pouring the night cap, and/or (3) getting to bed.

 

i had a few (maybe 5 or 6) of those over 2 years' time, and i was finally just like fook this. no fun, no point.

 

I think mine were likely a result of either having maximum alcohol tolerance or the way my body was affected by alcohol changed. Drinking like I had when I was younger started turning out scary and much different results. I was going through a pretty dark time as well when this all came to a head so I'm sure a lot of things were driving it.

 

I'm glad it's a thing of the past. I'm good with it staying there.

 

Plus I don't have time for being hungover the next day anymore. I work too hard to piss away my free time.

[Claude_Verret]

my girlfriend uses my phone from time to time, and I use hers from time to time to text people of call, but never maliciously. Lately (since I've been ring shopping), I just delete parts of conversations out of my phone just in case lol.

 

Oh absolutely, my wife and I use each others phones as needed, but this woman routinely scours his phone and then he will be in the doghouse if she reads about him planning to do something with the guys. He's in one of those marriages where he's not allowed to have fun without his wife or he is instantly the bad guy. It just makes me love and appreciate my awesome wife even more.

[LastPommerFan]

I refer to brownouts as "Slide Show Memory"

 

You can remember individual pictures of the evening, but some things are missing, and nothing is in order.

[shrader]

My friends wife is constantly going through his phone, she even responds to my texts as him sometimes. He's not up to any shenanigans that I know of, but that would drive me nuts if my wife did that.

 

I get the impression from this story that she was looking solely for the sake of snooping. She was looking for an argument and she got one. Now we just need to know the severity of this incident, was it a legitimate attack or something that is getting blown out of proportion. I'm sure this one will just go away when cooler heads take over.

 

my girlfriend uses my phone from time to time, and I use hers from time to time to text people of call, but never maliciously. Lately (since I've been ring shopping), I just delete parts of conversations out of my phone just in case lol.

 

If you ever get to the stage of picking out a rock, just tell the salesman to put the super fancy one away right away. Of course that $20,000 rock is going to look a million times better than the $5k one. And no matter which comparisons they try to line up, your eyes are always going to flock to that fancy one as long as it is out on the table.

[That Aud Smell]

Plus I don't have time for being hungover the next day anymore. I work too hard to piss away my free time.

 

Cos when I drink

I spend the next morning in a haze

And we only get so many days

Now I have one less

 

http://youtu.be/1tV8zSsMFSo

Edited May 8, 2014 by That Aud Smell

[LGR4GM]

Wow only an ###### hits his girlfriend.

[Claude_Verret]

I'm thinking of trying Jim Koch's (Sam Adams CEO) method of all night drinking without brownouts. I'm skeptical that this would work as I imagine stomach acids would denature and/or inhibit the alcohol dehydrogenase present in the dry yeast. It's worth a try and a good excuse to tie one on.

 

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/eats/proof-yeast-block-tipsiness-article-1.1773243

[Campy]

Wow only an ###### hits his girlfriend.

 

If he pushed her while trying to his phone back, would that make a difference that he didn't actually hit her?

Edited May 8, 2014 by Campy

[LGR4GM]

He pushed her while trying to his phone back. Does it make a difference that he didn't actually hit her?

not really. he had to push her pretty hard. unless she was about to physically injure him there isn't a good excuse. That's my own personal opinion though.

[darksabre]

 

 

Cos when I drink

I spend the next morning in a haze

And we only get so many days

Now I have one less

 

http://youtu.be/1tV8zSsMFSo

 

Exactly. Every single word in that song is the truth.

[That Aud Smell]

I'm thinking of trying Jim Koch's (Sam Adams CEO) method of all night drinking without brownouts. I'm skeptical that this would work as I imagine stomach acids would denature and/or inhibit the alcohol dehydrogenase present in the dry yeast. It's worth a try and a good excuse to tie one on.

 

i'd seen that as well. i do plan to conduct my own experiment.

[darksabre]

 

not really. he had to push her pretty hard. unless she was about to physically injure him there isn't a good excuse. That's my own personal opinion though.

 

Here's the trick. A drunk man and a sober woman is a no win situation for both parties. I told Josie while we were working through my issues that if I ever was really drunk like I had been other times that I wanted her to get out at all costs. Just leave the apartment. Because one accident is all it takes.

 

Patrick's lady would have been smart to just leave the situation if she could. Which from the sound of things was an option. Don't engage a drunk man, especially not physically by trying to do something like take his phone from him. Get somewhere safe and call the cops if you need to.

[LGR4GM]

Here's the trick. A drunk man and a sober woman is a no win situation for both parties. I told Josie while we were working through my issues that if I ever was really drunk like I had been other times that I wanted her to get out at all costs. Just leave the apartment. Because one accident is all it takes.

 

Patrick's lady would have been smart to just leave the situation if she could. Which from the sound of things was an option. Don't engage a drunk man, especially not physically by trying to do something like take his phone from him. Get somewhere safe and call the cops if you need to.

I understand. A lot of people are very different when drunk. That doesn't make it acceptable was basically my opinion.

 

Also I am the nicest drunk you will ever meet.

[dEnnis the Menace]

I get the impression from this story that she was looking solely for the sake of snooping. She was looking for an argument and she got one. Now we just need to know the severity of this incident, was it a legitimate attack or something that is getting blown out of proportion. I'm sure this one will just go away when cooler heads take over.

 

 

 

If you ever get to the stage of picking out a rock, just tell the salesman to put the super fancy one away right away. Of course that $20,000 rock is going to look a million times better than the $5k one. And no matter which comparisons they try to line up, your eyes are always going to flock to that fancy one as long as it is out on the table.

 

snooping for the sake of snooping is bound to lead to issues. I have no issue showing my girl if she thinks something is amiss. we've both been cheated on in the past by exes so we both have some trust issues no and then, but we are straight and up front with each other about everything.

 

I am currently picking out the rock. I am buying a trade in diamond that was once worth a pretty penny but now since it has been previously set and removed, I'm getting quite the discount B-) buying it from a friend of the family (an actual jeweler, just not one of those big name (i.e. Kay's, Jared's, or whatever) )

 

In terms of drunk men and sober women, like D4rk says, that's a recipe for disaster if she instigated that. It's not an excuse though. I cannot stand when men push or hit women, and frankly I have no patience for it. One of my high school friends had an ex that would push her around when he was drunk. She filed for divorce and got sole custody of their kid. He blamed me because I was part of her 'support system,' and I flat out told him he was a coward and scumbag for laying his hands on a woman like that. I had to be restrained from trying to fight him on several occasions.

[darksabre]

 

I understand. A lot of people are very different when drunk. That doesn't make it acceptable was basically my opinion.

 

Also I am the nicest drunk you will ever meet.

 

Right. It's not acceptable. But it could have been avoided. And now they both have to deal with the consequences.

[Campy]

not really. he had to push her pretty hard. unless she was about to physically injure him there isn't a good excuse. That's my own personal opinion though.

 

I think we can all agree that striking and/or physically engaging somebody in the real world is generally pretty stupid. And it's even more so when it's a male doing it to a female. But I don't think it necessarily makes him an ######.

 

It might make him guilty of losing his temper or being hammered or losing temper while being hammered or having anger management issues or whatever.

 

If it turns out it's a chronic thing, I might change my mind, but it could just be a one-time drunken lapse in judgment, couldn't it?

 

And as d4rk said, now they both have to deal with the consequences of what ended up being a pretty ugly night.

 

(NB, if I wasn't 100% clear, please understand I am not saying violence against women is in any way excusable).

[spndnchz]

Oh the stories I could tell...

[LGR4GM]

Oh the stories I could tell...

Why don't you give us one and redact all incriminating names.

[Weave]

I'm thinking of trying Jim Koch's (Sam Adams CEO) method of all night drinking without brownouts. I'm skeptical that this would work as I imagine stomach acids would denature and/or inhibit the alcohol dehydrogenase present in the dry yeast. It's worth a try and a good excuse to tie one on.

 

http://www.nydailyne...ticle-1.1773243

 

i'd seen that as well. i do plan to conduct my own experiment.

 

The dehydrogenation of alcohol still produces acetyl aldehyde. So.... same hangover for less drunk.

[josie]

The going through the phone thing- obviously there's not a lot of trust in that relationship. I've never done it, but I have a very close friend who constantly goes through her fiance's phone. Fun thing- she regularly finds pictures and texts that would make me dump his ass were he my man, but... well, they have a horrible relationship so, that's their business. No trust, no talking, no openness- awful.

 

Drunk person + sober s.o.= bad, yes. But getting out when ###### starts to go down sounds a lot easier than it really is. I'll give you the perspective of the sober person.

 

You've watched the person slide into it all night. "Oh no it's happening again" is all you can think, and you get preemptively upset, which makes them more upset.

 

You can't imagine that it's going to get worse, it can't, right? You know this person. But it does, then it gets better, then worse, and oscillates and it's 5 am and where the hell are you going to go without it turning into a huge deal? Call/wake up your best friend, explain the situation and drive over or have them come get you? Wander the neighborhood? Risk making the drunk person who is clearly incapable of normal reactions even more angry or sad or put themself at risk? Where's the line?

 

Remember, you may have a couple drinks yourself, you're upset, you're scared, you're not thinking straight, you're trying not to overreact, and leaving is like driving a nail into the coffin of a relationship that otherwise is really wonderful. You want to be understanding, but damn. And then the next day, they have no clue why you're upset and can't/won't believe what you tell them. Especially if there were no others around to witness it.

 

Yeah I went through this with d4rk as he has said, but I went through it in previous relationships as well- one of which turned violent one night. And I didn't leave then, because I was 19 and stupid and it was my first long term relationship and it must have been my fault. So said my young stupid brain.

 

For Patrick and the lady involved, I have a lot of sympathy, and I hope they both learned from it. D4rk and I learned. It wasn't easy. It wasn't fun. Many of our friends told me to get out early on. But i saw improvements, and enjoyed being with him, and he listened, and now a couple years later, that trust is mostly back and we have more fun being the old fart sober couple on the couch going home at 1 am.

 

And on a happier note- Dennis- on the rock- congrats!

[DHawerchuk10]

Vaclav Varada, sure. Patrick? That's incomprehensible.

 

Vaclav Varada does not endorse this message.

[dEnnis the Menace]

The going through the phone thing- obviously there's not a lot of trust in that relationship. I've never done it, but I have a very close friend who constantly goes through her fiance's phone. Fun thing- she regularly finds pictures and texts that would make me dump his ass were he my man, but... well, they have a horrible relationship so, that's their business. No trust, no talking, no openness- awful.

 

Drunk person + sober s.o.= bad, yes. But getting out when ###### starts to go down sounds a lot easier than it really is. I'll give you the perspective of the sober person.

 

You've watched the person slide into it all night. "Oh no it's happening again" is all you can think, and you get preemptively upset, which makes them more upset.

 

You can't imagine that it's going to get worse, it can't, right? You know this person. But it does, then it gets better, then worse, and oscillates and it's 5 am and where the hell are you going to go without it turning into a huge deal? Call/wake up your best friend, explain the situation and drive over or have them come get you? Wander the neighborhood? Risk making the drunk person who is clearly incapable of normal reactions even more angry or sad or put themself at risk? Where's the line?

 

Remember, you may have a couple drinks yourself, you're upset, you're scared, you're not thinking straight, you're trying not to overreact, and leaving is like driving a nail into the coffin of a relationship that otherwise is really wonderful. You want to be understanding, but damn. And then the next day, they have no clue why you're upset and can't/won't believe what you tell them. Especially if there were no others around to witness it.

 

Yeah I went through this with d4rk as he has said, but I went through it in previous relationships as well- one of which turned violent one night. And I didn't leave then, because I was 19 and stupid and it was my first long term relationship and it must have been my fault. So said my young stupid brain.

 

For Patrick and the lady involved, I have a lot of sympathy, and I hope they both learned from it. D4rk and I learned. It wasn't easy. It wasn't fun. Many of our friends told me to get out early on. But i saw improvements, and enjoyed being with him, and he listened, and now a couple years later, that trust is mostly back and we have more fun being the old fart sober couple on the couch going home at 1 am.

 

And on a happier note- Dennis- on the rock- congrats!

 

1) thank you for that side of the story. sometimes it's hard to understand without a second side.

 

2) thank you on the bolded

[Ghost of Dwight Drane]

NSFW

 

[inkman]

If this is the thread to open up about alcohol abuse, I guess I'll have to put my two cents in. Anytime I have more than a couple of drinks, I black out. No brown out, no partial memories, nothing. Four, five, six hours...the whole night gone. I'm sure this has a lot to do with me hitting it pretty hard in the 90's. What started as left over partying in college, turned into a decade long drunk ass fiasco. Every night, no matter what, I was drunk. Not 4-5 beers drunk. Falling off the barstool, doing and saying the most reprehensible things, making a complete ass of myself. That was inky in the 90's. pretty much a terrible self serving ahole. I hated what I had become but I couldn't stop it. I finally moved on from that life after I met my ex but that doesn't mean the ugliness doesn't rear it's head.

 

Almost unilaterally, when I start drinking, I don't stop until I fall asleep, pass out or run out of booze. When I'm stuck in that moment I don't want to stop. I know it's going to ###### up my next day but I always tell myself I'll push through it and man up. I don't drink like I used to but once or twice a week I'll convince myself it's what I want to do. I don't get to the 15-20 drink stage like I did but 8-10 for sure. I think I'm ready to call it quits. It's not really fun at this point.