"I Hope They Did Not Bring Apple Juice" Hockey and Us.

[millbank]

http://www.schombergminorhockey.com/risk-management/66-risk-management/311-minor-hockey-is-for-the-children.html

Hoping folks will take the time to read and reflect. The games of our lives it would seen at times take on

great importance, how this effects us and those around us of value to reflect on.

While sport has many important attributes in terms of in composite developing character skills, it good to remember they are just games.

Hope some will read and offer their opinions.

Edited March 11, 2014 by millbank

[Sabres Fan in NS]

Hey millbank,

 

Thanks for posting.

 

I read the whole thing, didn't take more then 10 minutes.

 

I think we all can learn a lesson from the article.

 

We rant and rave about the Sabres ..., but there are much more important things.

 

For myself this board and sports in general are diversions. A good thing, so long as we don't lose sight of the important things in our lives.

 

Sports should be for entertainment for the fans, and should be played (at all levels) for the fun of it, especially for kids.

[Eleven]

I can't open the link.

[Sabres Fan in NS]

I can't open the link.

 

If you are using Google Chrome it will give you an alternative link. Click on that ... trust me.

[millbank]

If you are using Google Chrome it will give you an alternative link. Click on that ... trust me.

 

sorry have changed link , should work now

[josie]

This is fantastic. I'll keep it in mind in case I ever become a hockey mom. Or any kind of competitive sport/hobby/academics mom who stands there with the snacks and holding the coats, juggling cameras and positive reinforcement.

 

It's valid even for adults- my beginner sunday night league sometimes forgets about the fun and I take it upon myself to try to joke and laugh everybody back into enjoying it. Beginners, for g's sake. Not even talented or experienced skaters in a competitive league, where it actually matters if you win! One of my teammates brings the snacks- jello shots for every game and sometimes cookies. It's the little things. It's why I'm not afraid to play anymore.

[biodork]

Good stuff... thanks for sharing, Millbank.

[Eleven]

Oh. I thought it was about this:

 

 

 

In seriousness, nice article.

[dEnnis the Menace]

Thanks Millbank. That was a great article.

[That Aud Smell]

Really good stuff. I especially like this insight: "They don’t think like we do or look at the sport like we do. "

 

This is so, so true. And not just when sports are concerned. This is a truth in all kinds of settings. Try to see the game, the play, the recital, the test, the field trip through their eyes. It's a humbling experience.

 

I coach a rec league soccer team every year, here's an article I've shared the last couple of seasons with my team parents.

 

http://www.thepostgame.com/blog/more-family-fun/201202/what-makes-nightmare-sports-parent

 

This article has changed - for the better - every car ride home for my kids who do travel sports. As a rule, I don't say a blessed thing about the game, save for very general "did you enjoy yourself" sort of stuff. Any other critiques, I save for some other time. Or, maybe even better, I never say them at all.

[ubkev]

Good article. Thanks millbank

[Brawndo]

Great article, thanks for sharing

[LTS]

Really good stuff. The part about referring back to NHL players I think makes a huge difference. It's easy to write an article like this and then have people dismiss it with the attitude of "Well, they can have fun but only those players who are serious have a shot to make it." But if you see that NHL players weren't constantly playing hockey while they were growing up it drives the message home.

 

My son plays hockey and I definitely think about these things as I have coached in the past as well. It is easy to get caught up in the game. From my point of view it's not because you think they are going to be superstars but as a coach you want each and every one of your kids to succeed and flourish to the best of their ability. It's easy to lose sight of the fact that they need to also enjoy what they are doing. I've been there, the too competitive coach. I still think about a few moments I've had and hope they will drive me to be better the next time.

 

I always talk about the game with my son right after but I let him tell me what he thought of the game. It's his job to ask questions on things and if he wants help with something. If he wants my opinions he has to ask for them. He drives himself to the level he will achieve. I prod at some points but never in a situation to make him not want to play the game at all.

 

If he wants some extra skating lessons and I can't help him then I will look for that. Ultimately he won't have much fun out there if he can't keep up with the other kids. Each kid is different.. my son would never ask about the snack, it's just not him. Before tournament games this past weekend while the locker room had music blasting he would get dressed and walk out of the locker room and watch the game that was currently on the ice. That's how he is...

 

Thanks for posting.. I sent it along to our coach to share with the team as well.

[millbank]

http://www.mlive.com..._dick_garb.html

http://www.sunnewsne...312-214707.html

http://sports.nation...-stefan-legein/

 

Above are three links discussing how tragic the pressure of succeeding in hockey can be to our youth. How we put to much import on the game. Terry Trafford was a OHL hockey player who was sent home for breaking team rules. ( it suggested it was smoking pot). The first two links discuss Terry Trafford with other links attached to stories, all of value to read to consider. The third link is of a player who heard of the tragedy and speaks of his experiences, how he needed to back away from the game to save his life. The stigma that can be attached where it viewed as weakness to ask for help , to discuss fears, anxieties, is one of the tragedies of us as a people putting far to much import on the games of our lives. A broad subject , many area's to be considered, but something we do need face head on and do better... imo

 

( i do not see it of value for myself to be posting opinion, but encourage, looking at the fresh faces of the children , in the initial postings, the pressures to perform, to succeed, on our youth, the feeling of failure, of disappointing others, of not meeting up to standards of coaches, and scouts and so many others, how the game becomes so more, often because it is so much more to not us but those around us. I had often thought as a young boy, why do they stay, why can't they just go home and let us play. Through the eyes of a child we often learn what are they true values in life, the things worth living for, the tragedy in life is often how we lose this as we grow older. While nothing is worth doing if it not with our best efforts, we need fore mostly remember it is a game. It is done for fun, for joy. )

Edited March 13, 2014 by millbank

[Stoner]

OK, so what is the reason for existence of the HarborCenter? Is it not to hammer out elite young hockey players? Will they take the summer off?

[That Aud Smell]

OK, so what is the reason for existence of the HarborCenter? Is it not to hammer out elite young hockey players? Will they take the summer off?

 

Easy, tiger. That facility isn't there for the purpose of hammering anything.

 

Nor is that spiffy facility predicated on the presence of coaches who are losing perspective, nor on the participation of nightmare hockey parents.

 

Now. Will Harborcenter tend to enable and perhaps grow such behaviors? Possibly.

 

It's not unfair to question whether and to what extent a world-class youth hockey facility is contributing to the problems in the culture of youth sports. But let's do it in an intellectually honest way.

[Stoner]

Easy, tiger. That facility isn't there for the purpose of hammering anything.

 

Nor is that spiffy facility predicated on the presence of coaches who are losing perspective, nor on the participation of nightmare hockey parents.

 

Now. Will Harborcenter tend to enable and perhaps grow such behaviors? Possibly.

 

It's not unfair to question whether and to what extent a world-class youth hockey facility is contributing to the problems in the culture of youth sports. But let's do it in an intellectually honest way.

 

Hammer=produce. Sorry, I'm a word man. Hammer is a great word. I was merely intending to ask questions, not make an argument. That's pretty intellectually honest, no?

[millbank]

Hammer=produce. Sorry, I'm a word man. Hammer is a great word. I was merely intending to ask questions, not make an argument. That's pretty intellectually honest, no?

 

the tragedy of the 20 yr. old ohl player is example of the plight of a elite level player. It clear he a young man feeling he had no outlet to discuss his difficulties, perhaps he feeling that it wrong to discuss them, that it would harm his career. These issues that need be looked at we do better . That there be facilities where we can be the best we can be, wonderful, that there be facilities for us to be the best other people think we should be no so.. general comment. My post wished to encourage thought . Many areas with no simple answers . am questioning values, values that have gone far out of perspective.

Edited March 13, 2014 by millbank

[LTS]

The Trafford incident is one of those anecdotal items used to dismiss the system. Is there pressure? Of course there is. It is a highly competitive system and the further up you go the worse it gets. The more time you put into the game the more you want to succeed and the less time you've put into other things in life.

 

Why are players afraid of acknowledging injury? Because they are worried that they will be replaced by the next guy. One moment of "weakness" and everything they've worked for is gone.

 

At some point it ceases to be a game and does become a business. A high stakes business with high stakes pressure.

 

That said.. some kids are naturally intense kids and will have a drive to compete at a level higher than others. Some will be worried about apple juice.

[MattPie]

Hammer=produce. Sorry, I'm a word man. Hammer is a great word. I was merely intending to ask questions, not make an argument. That's pretty intellectually honest, no?

 

I think I need to get produced before watching tonight's game, it'll make it easier to watch. ;)

[millbank]

this from another player from supplied links.

"If kids, can just have someone to talk to, and educate themselves, to realize its not the end of the world. It is not over if they do not reach the next level. Its a game, Its a job, its not your whole life.

The notion that some will be worried about the apple juice and some will not, entirely the issue and the effects and consequences at play here and Terry Trafford hardly a singular example , his case life ending , for many others scars their entire lives. to our culture a far out of wack as to what the perception as to what greatness is and how this effects us as a people. If the apple juice of no import in what we do,just maybe it time to get the hell out. imo

Edited March 13, 2014 by millbank

[Claude_Verret]

Thanks for the link. I coached my son in little league and my daughter for soccer. You learn early on that it's all about the snacks. I know a few guys who have boys that are really into sports (mine has since decided that he's not, and that's perfectly ok), but I see the early signs of their dad's making it more about themselves than their kid just playing a game for fun.

 

Words every sports parent should live by:

 

Do me a favor: Until the agent comes knocking on your door, and even after that, let’s keep it that way. A game for kids.