Help.

[neverenough]

Ok here we go. I have a 2 and a half year old son and my wife would like more kids which is why I want to Adopt a small dog from the animal shelter for my son for Christmas. If I had another kid that would be ok but I just don't see our Country as a place I want to add to many kids to. So the question, is getting a dog for a family more of a hassle than good?

[SwampD]

Ok here we go. I have a 2 and a half year old son and my wife would like more kids which is why I want to Adopt a small dog from the animal shelter for my son for Christmas. If I had another kid that would be ok but I just don't see our Country as a place I want to add to many kids to. So the question, is getting a dog for a family more of a hassle than good?

What other country would you want to add more kids to?

[That Aud Smell]

Phrasing the question of whether to get a dog in the context of working around a disagreement with your wife over whether to have another child is a little like phrasing a question over where to go for a long weekend getaway in the context of kicking around the idea of whether to propose to one's girlfriend.

 

My advice: Have another kid. It will almost indisputably be the the (or one of the) best things that you ever do for yourself, your son, your wife, your marriage, and so on.

[Drunkard]

Dogs are a mixed bag. They are great animals and loyal as hell, but are definitely a hassle at times as well. Smaller dogs mean smaller accidents but they are also harder to house break. Then you've got to deal with all the shedding and fur everywhere or else get one of those dogs that's either mixed with a poodle or yorkie or something like that and you've got a yipping ankle biter. The kid will love it though and it may stop the wife from talking about having more kids for a while. Eventually her biological clock will go back to ticking though and then you'll have multiple kids and a dog.

[neverenough]

 

What other country would you want to add more kids to?

None.

 

Dogs are a mixed bag. They are great animals and loyal as hell, but are definitely a hassle at times as well. Smaller dogs mean smaller accidents but they are also harder to house break. Then you've got to deal with all the shedding and fur everywhere or else get one of those dogs that's either mixed with a poodle or yorkie or something like that and you've got a yipping ankle biter. The kid will love it though and it may stop the wife from talking about having more kids for a while. Eventually her biological clock will go back to ticking though and then you'll have multiple kids and a dog.

Biological Clock, I hate those two words.

[tom webster]

Ok here we go. I have a 2 and a half year old son and my wife would like more kids which is why I want to Adopt a small dog from the animal shelter for my son for Christmas. If I had another kid that would be ok but I just don't see our Country as a place I want to add to many kids to. So the question, is getting a dog for a family more of a hassle than good?

 

Let your wife know you are posting this and you won't have to worry about the dog or the kid!

[Drunkard]

None.

 

Biological Clock, I hate those two words.

 

There's a reason for it though. Women who give birth after 35 are something like 10 times more likely to have serious complications with their baby or pregnancy. You can always go a different route though. Next time she starts talking about kids just tell her to stop her yapping and go snag you a beer and fix you a sandwich. :)

[Derrico]

This sounds like you should be having a real discussion with your wife and not just getting a dog to appease her rather than another kid. However, it's not my place to tell you anything about what you should or should not do.

 

As for the dog idea, it depends on your lifestyle. I have a great dane at home and love her to death. However, do you guys travel alot or work long hours? The one thing I didn't maybe consider is you really can't go on too many trips unless you have family willing to watch the dog. They really do tie you down. However, their unconditional love is a breath of fresh air after a long stressful day at the office.

[CallawaySabres]

I have a 6 and 7 year old and my wife was pushing for the 3rd last year (she was 41 at the time.) I held my ground pretty firmly and the risky health issues at her age were a HUUGE part. I was completely happy with two and really wanted no part of disrupting the dynamic (health wise, financially, taking time away from my current two, etc..). We went through a pretty rough couple of months but then one day she came to me asking about a dog (after I had nixed that one so many times.). Last Christmas I got them a black lab puppy and my wife and Samson are best friends. I dodged a bullet and the family is officially complete.

 

I have a boy and a girl so it made the decision a little easier. It could be more difficult for you if your wife is really wanting that daughter that is not there. Hope that helps but the one thing I can say is that if you are one side of the fence and your wife is on the other (and nobody is budging.) You have to have a serious sit-down and express how strongly each side feels. You may be surprised......

[nfreeman]

This sounds like you should be having a real discussion with your wife and not just getting a dog to appease her rather than another kid. However, it's not my place to tell you anything about what you should or should not do.

 

As for the dog idea, it depends on your lifestyle. I have a great dane at home and love her to death. However, do you guys travel alot or work long hours? The one thing I didn't maybe consider is you really can't go on too many trips unless you have family willing to watch the dog. They really do tie you down. However, their unconditional love is a breath of fresh air after a long stressful day at the office.

 

Good post. As a father of 2 and a dog owner I agree with all of this.

 

I would also add the question of whether adding another child to this country is really what's driving your concerns. If it's really more a concern about adding another child to your life/family/marriage/home/financial burden -- then I would think long and hard about resolving those issues before going ahead with either a child or a dog.

 

Now, like AudSmell, I've had a great, great experience with having kids. But I also know that it's not for everyone.

 

Good luck.

[MILFHUNTER#518]

name='neverenough' timestamp='1386766553' post='532717']

Ok here we go. I have a 2 and a half year old son and my wife would like more kids which is why I want to Adopt a small dog from the animal shelter for my son for Christmas. If I had another kid that would be ok but I just don't see our Country as a place I want to add to many kids to. So the question, is getting a dog for a family more of a hassle than good?

[/b]

If you really are pissed about the current state of affairs in this country, you will be conceding defeat by allowing those monsters in DC and the media enough real estate in your brain bucket to influence decisions as substantial as this. That should not be a factor whatsoever, the REAL issues (your wife's age and health, your lifestyle, etc.) should take center stage. I am going through a similar situation right now, as my fiancée is about to turn 40, has tried IVF multiple times over the years and we just cannot seem to make it work. Now we are trying to decide on adoption vs. a more aggressive IVF regimen over what she has tried in the past. I feel your pain, there is no easy answer the only remedy is prayer and ample time to mull over all the factors so you two can make a good decision.

[That Aud Smell]

Let your wife know you are posting this and you won't have to worry about the dog or the kid!

 

well-played.

 

Now, like AudSmell, I've had a great, great experience with having kids. But I also know that it's not for everyone. Good luck.

 

if nothing else, having a second child is of such value to the first child. i don't intend to offend only children (but realize i may), but i am firmly of a mind that growing up with a sibling (or two (or three)) is an invaluable experience.

[bunomatic]

Have you gone through the teen years as a parent ? Thats all I'm going to say.

[That Aud Smell]

Have you gone through the teen years as a parent ? Thats all I'm going to say.

 

if MTV has taught us anything in the last 5 years, it is uniquely difficult to be a teen parent.

 

:P

[Weave]

Sticking to the dog subject,

 

Your lifestyle may be the most important aspect of this decision. Dog's need every bit as much socializing and attention as children do. Under-socialize them and they will be a burden. Give them the attention you would give another family member and most turn out to be cherished family members.

[darksabre]

1. Make the baby.

2. Put skates on it.

3. Wait 19 years for him to be the Sabres #1 center.

4. ???

5. Profit

[TM8-PL16]

I have several opinions on this topic but most have been stated in some way but although I'm not saying this next statement should be the deciding factor, I think it's funny...

I think Louis C.K. said something like bringing a dog home is just like saying "hey look, we all will be crying and depressed in 7-12 years when this thing dies!"

;)

 

I don't have a pet for the record and this is in my long list of reasons why I don't. I can't handle a movie about a dog dying, I know I couldn't handle my own dog dying, haha.

[respk]

Short answer have the kid and get the dog.

 

I have two kids and not having the third, one more crack at having a girl, was a huge mistake that I regret almost everyday. My wife wanted one more I didn't. I won in the short term and lost in the long term. Every generation believes that the country is going to hell. IMHO that is not a reason to avoid having kids.

 

Getting a dog in place of another child won't work. They just aren't the same. :)

 

It took me two years to get our dog. My wife didn't want one even though she had a dog when we got married. Every time we went to the mall I made sure we hit the pet store. Every chance I could we looked at dogs. Made sure we watched the dog show on tv, etc. etc. She finally gave in and got a dog for my birthday. Getting a dog was one of the best decisions we made. It is our dog and my wife's shadow and adds immensely to our family.

[frisky]

My boy will be exactly 1 yr old in 1.25 hrs from now. I also just got a small dog 2 months ago that's only 7 months old. It's kinda like 2 kids now. My boy yells and screams at the top of his lungs at the dog. The dog gets freaked out which isn't surprising since the screams are ear-piercing (hoping he'll get over this stage soon). Dog isn't used to kids which I'm hoping to get them acclimated soon but so far the dog is just scared of the boy. But, I don't regret getting my dog cause I missed my old dog whom the ex took with her. However, it is a lot of work cause he does make messes still. I would agree that if you're going to get a dog, get a dog cause you want to get a dog and not as a baby sub. Also, from my experience with the 5 cats in addition to the dog is that getting animals to appease the baby clock didn't work in my case. So, now I have 5 cats, a dog, a boy, and mom starting to think of another kid. I think the biggest resistance I have is that I may not be able to afford one where I live and at this age he's still inexpensive. I also dread dread dread the teen years which I would dread 100x more if I had a girl.

[Ghost of Dwight Drane]

if nothing else, having a second child is of such value to the first child. i don't intend to offend only children (but realize i may), but i am firmly of a mind that growing up with a sibling (or two (or three)) is an invaluable experience.

 

Would it surprise you to learn I am a only child? :w00t:

[That Aud Smell]

Would it surprise you to learn I am a only child? :w00t:

 

not in the least.

[IKnowPhysics]

I never understood the "how could we possibly raise a child in this world" idea. I understand the other reasons, health, finances, desired number of kids, sex of the kids, all of that, even a desire to help keep the world population trim. But the world is headed to a barren fiery hellscape dominated by demons that scream like Fran Drescher laughs? I don't see it.

 

If you raise the kid, you're not creating and torturing another soul, you're creating a family member with whom you and yours would share an immense amount of love with. They'll be heavily impressioned by you, so they likely won't help ruin the world, and they may actually help save it. How could we possibly know what the world is like in the future? Maybe in 40 years, it'll be a peaceful utopia, and you'll feel regret that you didn't bring in another trooper who would've enjoyed that with you. Maybe in 40 years, you'll enjoy going fishing with that kid and their kids because the first one was busy saving the world that weekend. Maybe in 40 years, the kids of your kids would have liked to grow up with cousins.

 

I genuinely look forward to having kids, and while growing up I thought I wanted probably two (like the family I grew up in), I sometimes wonder how awesome it'd be to ice an entire line of kids.

[josie]

Get the dog so your son can have a furry best friend until impending child number two comes along and grows up enough to be a sibling best friend.

 

But seriously, this is an important conversation to be having with your wife and yourself. Be honest to all involved. A drooly scrap of lovable fur isn't going to replace the desire to have a drooly lovable baby for long, and that conversation will be hanging over your heads like the sword of damocles again in no time.

[Iron Crotch]

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) I know more about dogs than kids. Have had dogs my whole life and currently have a collie and a lab-aussie mix (no kids). With dogs, the breed matters a lot. Some need more attention, some are fine being left alone, some are great with kids, some not so much. You need to do the research to figure out which breed or breed mix would work best with a kid that young (I highly recommend collies if you have kids BTW)

 

Of course, both kids and dogs require your time and will cut into your hockey-watching time!

[Ghost of Dwight Drane]

 

 

not in the least.

 

I'm sure!....

 

What I don't want to see here is that you don't really want a kid, or a dog.....and you end up not taking care of the dog and just return it to the shelter in a few months because it was a bargaining chip. Dogs are expensive. Even a small one you need to budget $1,000 a year for vet, food and grooming. If nobody can watch it, another $30 a day for boarding. Everyone better be on board for the next 10+ years if you make that move.

 

I understand being hesitant to bring another human being into the world. I know every generation thinks the world is going to crap, but we have really seen something take hold recently in my opinion with the proliferation of technology. People just aren't being socialized properly. The ADHD of having all these gadgets and supposed social mediums....I am seeing a huge loss of logic and reasoning skills, emotional weakness, lack of manners, empathy, etc. This is from previously well-adjusted adults, let alone kids. I take almost everything with a grain of salt these days because our minds have become trip wired and short circuited. How many people here actually are willing to read a post that is more than a paragraph? I know who does, and that is who I will usually have an in depth conversation with here.

 

If someone is looking to bargain at this point, a kid or a dog is probably not a good idea. Work on the core issues of why there is a conflict, and revisit the issue in time when the emotion is taken out of it.