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Posted

Was taking a little hike in the woods last evening and was listening to my iPod, something I never do. I like the sound of the outdoors. Over the music, which was fairly loud, I heard branches snapping. Took the headphones out and heard the sounds again. I knew this was going to be good, because only a large animal could break branches like that. I scanned the woods but saw nothing, then looked up. A large black bear was shimmying down a dead tree about 30 yards away. He was hauling bear ass.

 

I had a couple of seconds to wonder if he was pissed off at me and to wonder which way he was going to go when he hit the ground. Of course he ran away from me, but not before looking back over his shoulder. They can really move. There hasn't been one recorded human death in Pennsylvania on account of a black bear attack, and only a couple of people a year are injured by them, almost always when the bear has been backed into a corner. They really are more afraid of us than we are of them, and that's saying a lot. Still, it really did contribute to my cardio workout!

 

I'm still not sure why it had climbed the tree. They climb trees to get away from danger (me?), but why climb back down? They can be after food in the form of nuts or fruit, but this tree was dead. Maybe a bee hive was up there?

Posted

I'm still not sure why it had climbed the tree. They climb trees to get away from danger (me?), but why climb back down? They can be after food in the form of nuts or fruit, but this tree was dead. Maybe a bee hive was up there?

You clearly stumbled upon his club's secret fort. They sent the lowest ranked member down the "dead tree" as a diversion. Now here you are blabbing about things on the internet, they'll have to pick up camp and lay low for a while.

Posted

You clearly stumbled upon his club's secret fort. They sent the lowest ranked member down the "dead tree" as a diversion. Now here you are blabbing about things on the internet, they'll have to pick up camp and lay low for a while.

 

Were you the guy ahead of me who found the shrooms?

Posted

Were you the guy ahead of me who found the shrooms?

No sir, my diet consists of members of the Plantae and Animalia kingdoms exclusively. I have merely read too many Barenstain Bears books as a young lad.

Posted

Was taking a little hike in the woods last evening and was listening to my iPod, something I never do. I like the sound of the outdoors. Over the music, which was fairly loud, I heard branches snapping. Took the headphones out and heard the sounds again. I knew this was going to be good, because only a large animal could break branches like that. I scanned the woods but saw nothing, then looked up. A large black bear was shimmying down a dead tree about 30 yards away. He was hauling bear ass.

 

I had a couple of seconds to wonder if he was pissed off at me and to wonder which way he was going to go when he hit the ground. Of course he ran away from me, but not before looking back over his shoulder. They can really move. There hasn't been one recorded human death in Pennsylvania on account of a black bear attack, and only a couple of people a year are injured by them, almost always when the bear has been backed into a corner. They really are more afraid of us than we are of them, and that's saying a lot. Still, it really did contribute to my cardio workout!

 

I'm still not sure why it had climbed the tree. They climb trees to get away from danger (me?), but why climb back down? They can be after food in the form of nuts or fruit, but this tree was dead. Maybe a bee hive was up there?

 

Maybe the bear is the reincarnation of a relative of yours and was trying to get the tigers attention away from you?

Posted

Was taking a little hike in the woods last evening and was listening to my iPod, something I never do. I like the sound of the outdoors. Over the music, which was fairly loud, I heard branches snapping. Took the headphones out and heard the sounds again. I knew this was going to be good, because only a large animal could break branches like that. I scanned the woods but saw nothing, then looked up. A large black bear was shimmying down a dead tree about 30 yards away. He was hauling bear ass.

 

I had a couple of seconds to wonder if he was pissed off at me and to wonder which way he was going to go when he hit the ground. Of course he ran away from me, but not before looking back over his shoulder. They can really move. There hasn't been one recorded human death in Pennsylvania on account of a black bear attack, and only a couple of people a year are injured by them, almost always when the bear has been backed into a corner. They really are more afraid of us than we are of them, and that's saying a lot. Still, it really did contribute to my cardio workout!

 

I'm still not sure why it had climbed the tree. They climb trees to get away from danger (me?), but why climb back down? They can be after food in the form of nuts or fruit, but this tree was dead. Maybe a bee hive was up there?

 

He was clearly looking for Darcy Regier's testicles.

Posted

He was clearly looking for Darcy Regier's testicles.

 

So a woman couldn't be a GM or even involved with a hockey organization? Isn't that a bit biased and prejudicial?

Posted

So a woman couldn't be a GM or even involved with a hockey organization? Isn't that a bit biased and prejudicial?

Oh, where's my popcorn. This thread could get entertaining.

Posted

So a woman couldn't be a GM or even involved with a hockey organization? Isn't that a bit biased and prejudicial?

 

She could, but she'd have to have a gold tooth and an Afro.

Posted

 

 

So a woman couldn't be a GM or even involved with a hockey organization? Isn't that a bit biased and prejudicial?

 

You got the wrong cat, sister. I'd love to watch post-game interviews with chicks on the team.

Posted

You got the wrong cat, sister. I'd love to watch post-game interviews with chicks on the team.

What about if a lady was the GM? What are your thoughts on a female GM?

 

Also I should say I don't take anyone's avatar seriously. I mean I am not a pirate muppet now am I? or am I?

Posted

 

What about if a lady was the GM? What are your thoughts on a female GM?

 

 

 

Depends on how good-looking she is...

Posted

Depends on how good-looking she is...

 

So if the "chick" GM was good looking it wouldn't matter what the on ice product was? You'd date the hot "chick" with her joy holes stitched up.

Posted

So if the "chick" GM was good looking it wouldn't matter what the on ice product was? You'd date the hot "chick" with her joy holes stitched up.

 

Do her hands still work?

Posted

 

So if the "chick" GM was good looking it wouldn't matter what the on ice product was? You'd date the hot "chick" with her joy holes stitched up.

 

Hmmm...I think none of these factors are mutually exclusive. Next question.

Posted

Hmmm...I think none of these factors are mutually exclusive. Next question.

 

You're right. Next handsome guy that wants to date me I'll have him drop his pants first.

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