OT Relationships

[DR HOLLIDAY]

Watch the movie Old School for self recovery tips......... :beer:

[cdexchange]

In hockey terms....you have an unlimited salary cap and you don't have to spend it for the sake of spending it. You may have think you had "THE ONE", but in reality she was your Daniel Alfredsson. If Daniel Alfredsson is all you know, then you think you have a pretty good thing going. But she wasn't your Sidney Crosby, or your Wayne Gretzky, or your Bobby Orr.

 

Don't pull a Darcy and panic, spending $4.5 million on Tim Connolly. You have 365 days a year of free agency to scout for your franchise player. In the mean time, go ahead and put in a new carpet in your locker room and maybe spend some more time with your friends and family that you may not have "had the time for" because you were always with your girlfriend. Just that fact that you hurt so much means you are able to feel more and put in a lot more than many people do into a relationship, so through the hurt is a plus. Be your own Hockey Heaven. When you value yourself and don't run your franchise scared, the free agents will see it and before you know it....you'll be in negotiations with "THE ONE". Until then, it isn't so bad to pick up a rental player every now and then. Just make sure you pull the goalie with more than 5 seconds left.

 

 

This was tremendous. I see you're elevating your game just in time for the playoffs. :clapping:

[X. Benedict]

yeah i know this kind of a weird topic but its interesting none the less. i was dating this girl for 2 and a half years and outta nowhere she tells me that she likes another guy. the weird thing is that she met him online and he lives in florida. anyway she dumps me and moves to florida. bizarre huh? ive never been this depressed in my life. so i have a few question for you sabrespacers. why do you think people cheat? have you ever cheated or been cheated on?

 

1) She did you the greatest favor of your young life.

 

2) Nobody ever learns the "why"

[Fire Lindy Ruff NOW]

1) She did you the greatest favor of your young life.

 

2) Nobody ever learns the "why"

why is it the greatest favor?

[X. Benedict]

why is it the greatest favor?

 

She just saved you the balance of whatever time you would have invested in her.

[Fire Lindy Ruff NOW]

She just saved you the balance of whatever time you would have invested in her.

so are you saying this was bound to happen?

[X. Benedict]

so are you saying this was bound to happen?

Better now than 5 years from now with a couple of kids and half of your money. ;)

[Fire Lindy Ruff NOW]

Better now than 5 years from now with a couple of kids and half of your money. ;)

thats very true. but who knows maybe having a few kids with me would have made her stay. such as life. the smallest things could make such a big difference.

[Fire Lindy Ruff NOW]

Two comments/questions.

 

Are you in school? If not - try to find a job. Women like guys who can afford to buy things.

 

She moved to Florida for some internet guy? Have you confirmed if she is still alive?

[/quote

we talked a few times since shes been down there so yeah shes alive. but i havent talked to her in over a month.

[Taro T]

thats very true. but who knows maybe having a few kids with me would have made her stay. such as life. the smallest things could make such a big difference.

It would have either been that, or it would have made that emptiness that currently exists inside her that much larger.

 

I know what my guess is to which direction that would have gone.

 

Though it doesn't seem that way, it's always better to have stuff that was going to go sour anyway to go sour today rather than tomorrow. Life is FAR too short to end up losing a year or 2 (or 10) because somebody that knows they don't want their current situation decides to stay in it because they are ... to leave that situation. As OhioFan said, she did you a favor by setting you free now.

[Ghost of Dwight Drane]

It would have either been that, or it would have made that emptiness that currently exists inside her that much larger.

 

Though it doesn't seem that way, it's always better to have stuff that was going to go sour anyway to go sour today rather than tomorrow. Life is FAR too short to end up losing a year or 2 (or 10)

 

And now....maybe you understand where a few of us are coming from regarding the Sabres ;)

[MattPie]

thats very true. but who knows maybe having a few kids with me would have made her stay. such as life. the smallest things could make such a big difference.

 

You never want someone to be 'made' to stay with you. That's a recipe for a life misery for everyone.

 

I'll echo what everyone else is saying, at 20 it may seem you know it all. I know I did at 20 and I couldn't be more wrong (about relationships at least). Depending on your moral compass, going out and getting on the horse (know what I mean, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more)[0] is a pretty good idea. Sow your oats while it's socially acceptable. One recommendation though is make sure you and the girl are on the same page. Don't transfer your misery to someone else, bad karma and all.

 

Ah, to be 20 (I'm 34) knowing what I know now...

 

[0] it occurs that that quote is way to old for you. It's probably too old for me too, now that I think of it.

[ROC Sabres]

Watch the movie Old School for self recovery tips......... :beer:

I was actually thinking Forgetting Sarah Marshall. No joke, can teach you some good things. You're young. No matter how much it hurts, keep your head held high and always look at the bright side.

 

Strange things happen in life and you can only control the things in your court.

[X. Benedict]

thats very true. but who knows maybe having a few kids with me would have made her stay. such as life. the smallest things could make such a big difference.

 

Be glad you haven't made babies with a girl that travels 1100 miles for an internet guy.

[Fire Lindy Ruff NOW]

Be glad you haven't made babies with a girl that travels 1100 miles for an internet guy.

yeah definately. i really hop she has some karma geaded her way.

[Bmwolf21]

Dude, you're 20. You've got the world by the balls and your whole life in front of you. Go find another broad and tap yourself some azz and you'll feel better. I've been there. Getting some new 'tang always helps us get over it!

 

Get out there, boy, and have some fun. Miss right will come along when it's time, but don't force it.

Ohio nailed it.

 

Rub some dirt on it and get back in the game.

 

Watch the movie Old School for self recovery tips......... :beer:

:thumbsup:

 

1) She did you the greatest favor of your young life.

 

2) Nobody ever learns the "why"

And sometimes you don't want to know the "why" because it won't make any sense and it will just drive you crazy thinking that "if I did this or that she wouldn't have left."

 

Better now than 5 years from now with a couple of kids and half of your money. ;)

X speaks the truth.

 

I was dating this great girl in HS. She was one year behind me, and I was naive and "in love" enough to be making life plans with her for when she graduated a few months down the road. She suddenly breaks up with me out of the blue. I find out later that she had been talking to someone who was one of my friends and then started dating him. We all worked together and it took all I had not to whip his backside in the middle of work.

 

I found out a few years back that she met this great guy in college, got married....and one day he came home to an empty house and a note saying she couldn't be married anymore (like a year into the marriage). Seems all the OT and extra hours at a second job to supposedly "pay down debt" from college and the wedding were in fact going toward a savings account so she could leave him.

 

So I count my blessings that I was just the "high school sweetheart" whose heart she broke and not the husband she left less than a year into the marriage (and with a mortgage to boot).

 

And don't worry - karma eventually catches up with them.

[Robviously]

thats very true. but who knows maybe having a few kids with me would have made her stay. such as life. the smallest things could make such a big difference.

Dude, I think this was literally Britney Spears' plan for making her marraige to Kevin Federline work. :unsure:

[Fire Lindy Ruff NOW]

Dude, I think this was literally Britney Spears' plan for making her marraige to Kevin Federline work. :unsure:

haha i wouldnt be surprised.

[DerekRoyforPres]

Getting your heart ripped out is a good thing. You THOUGHT, she was everything you wanted in a girl....but I doubt you wanted a girl that would lack the trust and communication with you to go 3,000 miles away on a whim to chase a stranger. Sure, that's going to hurt, and you're going to miss the good times you had together and you might feel a little lonely on your own after being with someone for so long. But like others have said....you have to value YOURSELF. You can't fret about what you lost....it's about what somebody else gave up.

 

In hockey terms....you have an unlimited salary cap and you don't have to spend it for the sake of spending it. You may have think you had "THE ONE", but in reality she was your Daniel Alfredsson. If Daniel Alfredsson is all you know, then you think you have a pretty good thing going. But she wasn't your Sidney Crosby, or your Wayne Gretzky, or your Bobby Orr.

 

Don't pull a Darcy and panic, spending $4.5 million on Tim Connolly. You have 365 days a year of free agency to scout for your franchise player. In the mean time, go ahead and put in a new carpet in your locker room and maybe spend some more time with your friends and family that you may not have "had the time for" because you were always with your girlfriend. Just that fact that you hurt so much means you are able to feel more and put in a lot more than many people do into a relationship, so through the hurt is a plus. Be your own Hockey Heaven. When you value yourself and don't run your franchise scared, the free agents will see it and before you know it....you'll be in negotiations with "THE ONE". Until then, it isn't so bad to pick up a rental player every now and then. Just make sure you pull the goalie with more than 5 seconds left.

 

I could not stop laughing. I loved the analogy.

 

To weigh in on the situation. In college I dated a girl I thought I "loved." Unfortunately, before I started dating her I had already decided to study abroad the next year. To make a long story short, she cheated on me a few days after getting back to the US (from visiting me abroad) and we subsequently broke up. It sucked, I was absolutely devastated for a good while. To try and feel better I circled back and started talking to girls I had previously dated (almost settled for a prior girlfriend I had broken up with a few years prior, simply because I was lonely, which by the way is a terrible idea). A few months passed and I still felt pretty ###### and missed my cheating ex. My friends tried to convince me that I was better off without her (in retrospect, they were 100% right), but I did not believe them at the time. It took me about a year of being in a funk to finally realize the secret to it all. As a few people have noted already, I began to focus on hobbies and school. Basically, I did things that made me happy (I even got back in to playing hockey at this point). Happiness is contagious and therefore people want to be around happy people. At this point because I had personal satisfaction and was enjoying my life, I even stopped looking to meet a new girls.

 

As if by magic (seriously, only a short while passed) I started meeting tons of great women. The secret is to not look. I suspect that because I was relaxed (not looking for a new girlfriend) people got to see the real me and everyone likes genuine people (no matter who you are). Just be genuine and do things you love. Also, get involved. If you are in school, start joining clubs ect. If you are working, start joining sports teams or local organizations. Eventually, you will meet a new girl and I can promise you the new girl will be better than the old one (you can do better than a girl who leaves you for some internet guy). For now, just try to forget her. Dwelling on the loss is unproductive and futile. I know that forgetting is easier said than done but in the meantime just try not to blame yourself or question your own self-worth.

 

 

Also, take your sorrow and anger and put it to good use. Push yourself and better yourself. Work hard for that promotion or that A and do everything in your power to be as successful as possible. I can think of no greater comeback than you running into your ex a few years down the road having become a successful and confident person.

 

Oh, a quick side note to add. My cheating ex was a Canes fan, I should have known something was wrong at that point. I watched game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals in 2005-06 playoffs with her redneck family. Probably the worst day of my life.

[IKnowPhysics]

I think at some point, we all get our balls stepped on. It's a life lesson, except you don't learn from what happened, you learn how to deal with it. You'll be better for it.

 

Sack up a little and enjoy your twenties. Hell, you've got your 21st birthday to look forward to. Go get ###### up.

 

Once in a while you read articles about some young kid offing himself because he got dumped. I'll reinforce what you already know: that's the dumbest ###### reason to kill yourself ever. Although it never seems like it at the time, there's so much more life to live and roughly 2.999999999 billion other women to play with.

 

Also, spring is around the corner. Perfect time to get hooked up with someone else.

[X. Benedict]

 

Oh, a quick side note to add. My cheating ex was a Canes fan, I should have known something was wrong at that point. I watched game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals in 2005-06 playoffs with her redneck family. Probably the worst day of my life.

 

Some relationships are doomed from the start. :lol:

[JohnRobertEichel]

OP,

 

A general rule of thumb about life: from puberty until around age 30, it's a woman's world. From around age 30 onward, it's a man's.

[Swedesessed]

Getting your heart ripped out is a good thing. You THOUGHT, she was everything you wanted in a girl....but I doubt you wanted a girl that would lack the trust and communication with you to go 3,000 miles away on a whim to chase a stranger. Sure, that's going to hurt, and you're going to miss the good times you had together and you might feel a little lonely on your own after being with someone for so long. But like others have said....you have to value YOURSELF. You can't fret about what you lost....it's about what somebody else gave up.

 

In hockey terms....you have an unlimited salary cap and you don't have to spend it for the sake of spending it. You may have think you had "THE ONE", but in reality she was your Daniel Alfredsson. If Daniel Alfredsson is all you know, then you think you have a pretty good thing going. But she wasn't your Sidney Crosby, or your Wayne Gretzky, or your Bobby Orr.

 

Don't pull a Darcy and panic, spending $4.5 million on Tim Connolly. You have 365 days a year of free agency to scout for your franchise player. In the mean time, go ahead and put in a new carpet in your locker room and maybe spend some more time with your friends and family that you may not have "had the time for" because you were always with your girlfriend. Just that fact that you hurt so much means you are able to feel more and put in a lot more than many people do into a relationship, so through the hurt is a plus. Be your own Hockey Heaven. When you value yourself and don't run your franchise scared, the free agents will see it and before you know it....you'll be in negotiations with "THE ONE". Until then, it isn't so bad to pick up a rental player every now and then. Just make sure you pull the goalie with more than 5 seconds left.

 

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :worthy:

[shrader]

OP,

 

A general rule of thumb about life: from puberty until around age 30, it's a woman's world. From around age 30 onward, it's a man's.

 

Sweet, only 5 months to go.

[henysgol]

yeah i know this kind of a weird topic but its interesting none the less. i was dating this girl for 2 and a half years and outta nowhere she tells me that she likes another guy. the weird thing is that she met him online and he lives in florida. anyway she dumps me and moves to florida. bizarre huh? ive never been this depressed in my life. so i have a few question for you sabrespacers. why do you think people cheat? have you ever cheated or been cheated on?

 

Yes I have cheated, but only because she did it first. Yes I have been cheated on. Almost the same thing happened to me as you, believe it or not. With a girl 2+ yrs, meets a guy on the internet, moves to Florida. Talk about bizarre! Two main things need to happen--A.) You realize what a conniving liar she was, learn to LOVE to HATE her, and move on proudly in your life or B.) She realizes what a douchebag this Florida guy is, realizes what an idiot she was, and comes crawling back. Which leads to your ultimate decision to A.) Forgive her, take her back, and she is a good girl forever and treats you like a king and you live happily ever after, or B.) Tell her to go piss off and sleaze some more losers, cause YOU AIN'T ONE OF 'EM!! P.S. People cheat because they are low life scumbags, or because they're bored with each other, or due to lack of communication which leads to distrust, lying, doing things behind each other's backs, etc. When you're in a relationship, you have to be SURE you want each other equally, or else don't be together. And always keep in mind, NOTHING lasts forever. Shoot, I was with one, the love of my life, for 10 years then BAM she's dying in my arms in the Trauma Unit at Vanderbilt because she got in an accident whilst coming to visit ME at work. Ah, LIFE!