Complaint Thursdays

[Samson's Flow]

Accurate. You make a decent salary doing a job you're good at and may or may not enjoy but you don't get a warm fuzzy feeling from your bosses. You have it better than most. Find them ###### bootstraps.

Hank - I'm going to speak for Josie on this one, but you can F### right off with that. This is a place to share our communal experiences and frustrations, and to openly reject and criticize Josie for sharing makes you part of the problem.

 

Josie has been struggling with this conversation for a long time and her bosses truly are uncaring P.O.S. and you give a drive by commentary. She works in an openly toxic environment and is leaving a poorly managed company of her own volition, so she isn't some whiny millennial looking for a handout and a hug.

Edited November 10, 2016 by Touched by Boyes

[spndnchz]

Was brought upstairs by the bosses for a "conversation", aka, "you seem disengaged". They proceeded to tell me how disappointed they were I wasn't using this new animation program. "But I did an entire game in it back in May" says, I. "oh. We forgot". Says they. 

Told me they were unhappy with some UI I did for a game. Next sentence, what you did do was really great! So What's the problem? "Eh, you just seem... unhappy. And that needs to change."

 

Yes, I have been disengaged. It's hard not to be. Not easy to give 110% to people who don't respect you. I did for years, I guess I mentally checked out earlier this year. It's not good on my part. I feel bad. I haven't missed any deadlines or inconvenienced anyone, but I do feel guilty. 

 

I decided that in a couple of weeks, enough to blow them away on my newest assignment, I'm going to tell them I wish to quit at the end of the year.

 

I'll be facing unemployment besides my freelance (which means I'll be below poverty level) until I can hopefully find a job in Buffalo, or decide to go back to school. I am talking to a person I met who's a professor at University of Oregon about my options in going nutritional/veterinary science. 

 

I'm terrified, but I need to do it. I'm walking away from an ok salary and feeling like sh!t about it, but I don't know if I'll live through the winter if I don't. My mental health is gone. I'm in bad shape. 

 

They dropped this on me on Tuesday, so I was in pretty rough shape long before the election finished up. 

 

Oh, sorry, I'm just a stupid millenial- I'm sure I'm just an ungrateful sack of sh!t! Hang on, looking for those f**king bootstraps...

 

Not meant to be funny but... All those times you're not at the bar.. they're talking about you.

 

Maybe you need a new group of co-workers.

[WildCard]

Accurate. You make a decent salary doing a job you're good at and may or may not enjoy but you don't get a warm fuzzy feeling from your bosses. You have it better than most. Find them ###### bootstraps.

Having it better than most doesn't mean she should be unhappy. I never understood this sentiment; happiness is not a relative thing to others around you.

Did I read that right? That guy hit three people? How is he not in jail?

 

I consider it more of a running joke. Do you really take offense to it?

Eh here and there. Like I said, it's not just you. I can take a joke with the best of them, but I went to school, pay my bills, and have a great career. I'm not some hipster bitching about politics on my typewriter in Seattle :lol:

[darksabre]

Accurate. You make a decent salary doing a job you're good at and may or may not enjoy but you don't get a warm fuzzy feeling from your bosses. You have it better than most. Find them ###### bootstraps.

You'd quit this job too if you knew how poorly managed this company is. Zero structure and zero plan for growth. Imagine everything you hate about millennials but turned into a business model run by Gen-Xers clinging to their yuppie college lifestyle.

 

You'd want to punch everyone there, and I would agree with you.

[Hank]

Hank - I'm going to speak for Josie on this one, but you can F### right off with that. This is a place to share our communal experiences and frustrations, and to openly reject and criticize Josie for sharing makes you part of the problem.

 

Josie has been struggling with this conversation for a long time and her bosses truly are uncaring P.O.S. and you give a drive by commentary.

What I said may be a bit dickish, but is it inaccurate?

 

Josie's a big girl, but I'm sure the chivalry is appreciated.

[Samson's Flow]

Having it better than most doesn't mean she should be unhappy. I never understood this sentiment; happiness is not a relative thing to others around you.

 

Eh here and there. Like I said, it's not just you. I can take a joke with the best of them, but I went to school, pay my bills, and have a great career. I'm not some hipster ###### bitching about politics on my typewriter in Seattle :lol:

Exactly.

 

I would say that WildCard and my life standing are not dissimilar, so I don't appreciate being painted in such a broad brush as a granola eating hipster millennial. Just like you don't want to be lumped in with the racist hard-ass general laborers of the prior generation.

[Hank]

You'd quit this job too if you knew how poorly managed this company is. Zero structure and zero plan for growth. Imagine everything you hate about millennials but turned into a business model run by Gen-Xers clinging to their yuppie college lifestyle.

You'd want to punch everyone there, and I would agree with you.

My ignorance is obvious. I sympathize. My advise would be to find a new job/career path before quitting. Apologies for offending, it was uncalled for.

[Samson's Flow]

What I said may be a bit dickish, but is it inaccurate?

 

Josie's a big girl, but I'm sure the chivalry is appreciated.

It has nothing to do with Josie being a girl. It has everything to do with your tone and dismissive attitude to everyone else. 

 

Not all of us are fortunate enough to have everything go right in their lives like apparently you have. A little perspective is fine - yes it's better to have a job than to be homeless or selling your body to feed your kids - but let's not denigrate others for trying to improve their standing in life while sharing that struggle with the community.

[MattPie]

Complaint: Gen Xers that whine about Millennials when they are oblivious to how boomers whined the same things about Gen Xers. I'd rather hang out with the Millennials I know; they seem to have a sense of community and non-materialistic way about them that I never saw in my GenX peers.

[darksabre]

My ignorance is obvious. I sympathize. My advise would be to find a new job/career path before quitting. Apologies for offending, it was uncalled for.

Thank you. Understand that she's been bootstrapping it with this company for some time now and as an artist she at least has the freedom to call it quits on her terms. I support it because I believe that this company no longer provides her any benefit for career growth beyond a paycheck (which was not the case in years past). Quite frankly I'm glad she's finally reached the breaking point. I want her to make a clean break from these people, and with a clear conscience.

[ubkev]

I'm going to flip the table - I'm a millennial that hates old people. Three people I'm close to have been hit by a car driven by a male over 50 on purpose as pedestrians since JULY. WHAT THE ######. Y'all have a problem with millennials, I have a problem with how old sociopaths deal with their hatred of modern society.

 

I don't actually hate old people and obviously most of them are very nice and not like this. I can't even believe this though. The one guy refused to call 911 as the kid was bleeding out of his busted legs onto the street.

Uh, that's a felony and a very nice lawsuit.

 

 

My complaint: Co-worker that held the same position as me quit. He gave a 2 weeks notice. Rather than post the job opening and fill his position right away, the powers that be had decided to wait until he was already gone. That means I had to switch shifts to cover his spot. So I want from working 3am-11am(this is the greatest shift in the world, for me, personally). Back to working 7pm to 3am. I'm super not happy about it. Once the position is filled(they posted for it 4 days ago) then I will have seniority, and I will get to go back to my other shift, but until then I'm stuck. They haven't scheduled interviews yet, and it appears that more people are applying than I want to apply. The more applicants, the longer it takes for the bosses to decide who gets the promotion.

 

6 of us applied for this position 5 months ago. The other 5 that didn't get it are all applying again. They damn well already know who they want, otherwise they would have gone outside the company to find someone. Hurry up and be done with it, so I can have my life back!

[josie]

Accurate. You make a decent salary doing a job you're good at and may or may not enjoy but you don't get a warm fuzzy feeling from your bosses. You have it better than most. Find them ###### bootstraps.

It's been a fun five years though! No health care for 2 years despite salary, started me below minimum wage, have repeatedly ignored me and others because we are female. Other people on this board have left jobs for their wellbeing and mental health, and it is championed. But yeah, my boss who once told me "well, why would your opinion matter, you only can play girl games" DOES kind of make me feel like daily, I suck. I pushed to be a teacher and change lives in addition to my 40 hours a week at this job, I work hard volunteering every weekend, I do freelance for everything from LGBTQ organizations to right wing minded military patches. 

 

But, guess I'll just go be a welfare queen now! I'm a millenial, no way I could possibly have been looking for a new job the last six months as all of this has gotten worse! I'm too irresponsible! Shucks, guess I'll just go protest in the streets about my feelings. That's what I'm supposed to do, right? Generalizations are dangerous. 

 

I've been reverting to lurker on this forum for some time now, mostly just posting in this sad thread or off topics or offering condolences to people. I haven't had the heart to do a lot of art, and that was my only special role here anyways. That and honorary old lady of d4rk. I have written and deleted so many things, I just don't have the time/guts to get into it.

 

ALL generations b!tch about ALL other generations. There are trends, but to generalize an individual's life is to blur your own humanity. Maybe it's more comforting, I don't know. Every person you meet has a struggle. 

 

I have a hockey bag to go p!ss in  ;)

[Randall Flagg]

JFC man that is just unreal. Are those people alright? Was the driver different in each instance?

 

Really though, there are about 5 millenials on this board, and we're pretty damn good at being civil and driving conversation. So, can we knock it off with the millenial garbage? And I'm not just talking about the most recent instance, it's always on here

 

Did I read that right? That guy hit three people? How is he not in jail?

 

I consider it more of a running joke. Do you really take offense to it?

The driver was different in each instance, and each one happened in a different county. The one time, in East Aurora, my girlfriend's father was in a Rite Aid parking lot and the guy sped up and swerved right into him, almost breaking his arm with the mirror, and then drove away - her father got in his car, chased him while calling the cops, and after the officer went between the cars a few times after pulling him over said "oh yeah, we've gotten numerous calls on this guy doing that" THEN WHY THE HELL IS HE STILL DRIVING??? The guy was not arrested. No idea if he has his license. But if you are around East Aururoa, watch out for gray vans and jeeps (I can't remember which it is.) The people in Rite Aid knew what had happened too when they went inside all distressed about it. 

 

And I don't think WC is the type to take offense to things, but he obviously thinks it's overplayed haha I don't mind because I recognize that that's always how people are with regards to other generations

[pi2000]

I decided that in a couple of weeks, enough to blow them away on my newest assignment, I'm going to tell them I wish to quit at the end of the year.

 

I'll be facing unemployment besides my freelance (which means I'll be below poverty level) until I can hopefully find a job in Buffalo, or decide to go back to school. I am talking to a person I met who's a professor at University of Oregon about my options in going nutritional/veterinary science. 

 

 

Sorry to hear that Josie, sounds like a bad situation, hang in there.     

 

I can only guess at your age, but I went through similar circumstances in my mid-20's before I finally decided to pack up and head to the west coast to look for work.     My adivce (if you want to hear it) would be that if you're entertaining any thoughts of uprooting and starting over somewhere else... is to do it while you're still relatively young.   

[josie]

My ignorance is obvious. I sympathize. My advise would be to find a new job/career path before quitting. Apologies for offending, it was uncalled for.

I went on my rant and my browser didn't tell me there were new replies. 

 

I've been searching for a new job for some time now. I'm against a deadline to move in May. I may pick up some part time work and utilize my savings, which I have been carefully hoarding for a while just in case this had to happen. 

 

I accept your apology. I guess everyone is hot under the collar right now, what with the week's events. I think everyone could do with a few deep breaths and few less generalizations, which, ironically, I realize is a generalization. 

Sorry to hear that Josie, sounds like a bad situation, hang in there.     

 

I can only guess at your age, but I went through similar circumstances in my mid-20's before I finally decided to pack up and head to the west coast to look for work.     My adivce (if you want to hear it) would be that if you're entertaining any thoughts of uprooting and starting over somewhere else... is to do it while you're still relatively young.   

Thanks. I've been considering it. The trouble is, d4rk and I have been apart for a couple years now and were hoping to live together/start all that homey marriage stuff. He is stationed in Buffalo for at least a few years. 

 

I'll make it work. It's just very frustrating. If I have to change my entire career path, I will. It seems I may have to. 

[WildCard]

Josie, you seem pretty computer savvy. Why not try programming?

[darksabre]

I went on my rant and my browser didn't tell me there were new replies.

 

I've been searching for a new job for some time now. I'm against a deadline to move in May. I may pick up some part time work and utilize my savings, which I have been carefully hoarding for a while just in case this had to happen.

 

I accept your apology. I guess everyone is hot under the collar right now, what with the week's events. I think everyone could do with a few deep breaths and few less generalizations, which, ironically, I realize is a generalization.

 

Thanks. I've been considering it. The trouble is, d4rk and I have been apart for a couple years now and were hoping to live together/start all that homey marriage stuff. He is stationed in Buffalo for at least a few years.

 

I'll make it work. It's just very frustrating. If I have to change my entire career path, I will. It seems I may have to.

And bear in mind what I've said to you many times: I want you to do what will make you happy in the long term even if it costs us in the short term. And I know your career is important to you, whether than ends up being art or something different.

 

Look at what bio and her fiance (right?) have been doing for years. We're not the only ones trying to get on in life in complicated ways.

[josie]

Josie, you seem pretty computer savvy. Why not try programming?

haha well, I have been attempting to teach myself some basic stuff. A little CSS, HTML, Java... I got to Ruby and was like... what the heck is happening here.... I just haven't had enough time/a good way to really get to a functional level. I have been using codecademy and poking my dev pals for pointers. 

 

I'd like to learn some, I think it would help my chances in an advertising agency. 

 

My best friend at this company was a female game dev. She left because of the b.s. she faced constantly. She was a better programmer than most people here, but they treated her like a novice. She's at MailChimp in Atlanta being a rockstar now. If I quit soon, I may take a trip down there and just go through a weekend crash course she's offered to me on learning this stuff.

 

My skills have been outdated to some degree. Coding could be fun. 

[ubkev]

And bear in mind what I've said to you many times: I want you to do what will make you happy in the long term even if it costs us in the short term. And I know your career is important to you, whether than ends up being art or something different.

 

Look at what bio and her fiance (right?) have been doing for years. We're not the only ones trying to get on in life in complicated ways.

Yeah, buddy!

 

I moved to Pennsylvania in 2010 in search of a vast career improvement. My girlfriend of 4 years would not come with me. I complain about my job sometimes, but I really do have it quite good for a person of my education level and intelligence. After a year of working my ass off, 60 hours a week, 6 days a week, I finally convinced her to join me. It hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows, but it's been us together at least.

 

I know our situations aren't the same, but that doesn't mean the results can't be. I've got a job that I like, after much searching, my old lady has a job that she likes. And we both still like each other. And after 10 years, that's pretty good.

 

One way or another I find that life has its own way of kind of figuring it out. I wish the best for you two.

[Hank]

To Josie and d4rk:

 

Josie said you are "stationed" in buffalo. I associate "stationed" with being in the military. If you don't mind, what do you do?

 

 

Some unsolicited advice from a man who's financially secure and retired in his mid forties: love don't pay the bills. When you are fortunate enough to live together if your struggling financially it will eventually take a toll on the relationship. ESPECIALLY if you are well educated and feel you are living beneath your station.

Edited November 10, 2016 by Hank

[josie]

To Josie and d4rk:

 

Josie said you are "stationed" in buffalo. I associate "stationed" with being in the military. If you don't mind, what do you do?

 

 

Some unsolicited advice from a man who's financially secure and retired in his mid forties: love don't pay the bills. When you are fortunate enough to live together if your struggling financially it will eventually take a toll on the relationship. ESPECIALLY if you are well educated and feel you are living beneath your station.

Sorry, that's my misuse of synonyms to avoid repeating more common terms. Kinda backfires sometimes haha 

 

Not stationed in that sense. D4rk works in the solar industry. A couple more years where he is now is necessary for stability, and then perhaps we can move somewhere else. 

 

Oh I absolutely agree that love doesn't pay the bills. I'm lucky that d4rk and I have a pretty solid understanding of this. We're both very pragmatic people. I have been struggling with the idea of him making more than me and being a "kept woman" for some time now, let alone him being sole major income for even a brief period of time. I prefer to be as financially independent as possible. My mother was a stay at home mom and she has always been torn between being happy she was there for us and regretful she didn't become the big business woman she was expected to be. My father was privileged enough to make a salary that made this possible. 

 

I'm not too stupid with my money. I won't go without a job for longer than a month or two, and even that I will be making enough off freelance to pay my rent, gas, and car payments without dipping into my savings. I can tighten my belt. I already barely eat :P

 

Even if d4rk were to make a salary like my father, I would work. I refuse to not contribute as much as possible.  

 

As to the squabbling- you're right there too. We squabbled plenty. I'm responsible for lighting a fire under his a$$ to figure out his life. And he listened. And worked his butt off. And he's doing really well now. Now it's my turn to wallow around figuring things out! 

Edited November 10, 2016 by Josie914

[darksabre]

To Josie and d4rk:

 

Josie said you are "stationed" in buffalo. I associate "stationed" with being in the military. If you don't mind, what do you do?

 

 

Some unsolicited advice from a man who's financially secure and retired in his mid forties: love don't pay the bills. When you are fortunate enough to live together if your struggling financially it will eventually take a toll on the relationship. ESPECIALLY if you are well educated and feel you are living beneath your station.

Just a turn of phrase. I work here during the weeks because I lucked into a good opportunity but we keep an apartment in Rochester.

 

I agree on the finances. My hope is that any change in our living situation now is done with the future in mind. I think that's Josie's intent. She tells me constantly that she doesn't want to be an anchor or have me supporting her. Which I think is noble.

[SwampD]

How do I become a "kept man?" I think I would be very good at it.

[darksabre]

How do I become a "kept man?" I think I would be very good at it.

I've always said I want to be a stay at home dad. :lol:

[Hank]

Sorry, that's my misuse of synonyms to avoid repeating more common terms. Kinda backfires sometimes haha 

 

Not stationed in that sense. D4rk works in the solar industry. A couple more years where he is now is necessary for stability, and then perhaps we can move somewhere else. 

 

Oh I absolutely agree that love doesn't pay the bills. I'm lucky that d4rk and I have a pretty solid understanding of this. We're both very pragmatic people. I have been struggling with the idea of him making more than me and being a "kept woman" for some time now, let alone him being sole major income for even a brief period of time. I prefer to be as financially independent as possible. My mother was a stay at home mom and she has always been torn between being happy she was there for us and regretful she didn't become the big business woman she was expected to be. My father was privileged enough to make a salary that made this possible. 

 

I'm not too stupid with my money. I won't go without a job for longer than a month or two, and even that I will be making enough off freelance to pay my rent, gas, and car payments without dipping into my savings. I can tighten my belt. I already barely eat :P

 

Even if d4rk were to make a salary like my father, I would work. I refuse to not contribute as much as possible.  

 

As to the squabbling- you're right there too. We squabbled plenty. I'm responsible for lighting a fire under his a$$ to figure out his life. And he listened. And worked his butt off. And he's doing really well now. Now it's my turn to wallow around figuring things out!

 

Solar? The man looked at future job growth and chose a career path that should lead to financial security. Much respect d4rk.