GoatheadInCT Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 10. Teppo Numinnen had a rare contagious disease that strikes his teammates when he's out of the lineup. 9. Mad Max made the Blue Jackets a playoff team, and we didn't give him a chance to shine here. 8. Ryan Miller couldn't adjust to the new rules governing goalie equipment. 7. Harry Neale brought back luck with him from the Maple Leafs, and we just can't shake it! 6. Lindy Ruff lost his ability to motivate professional hockey players who make millions of dollars a year. 5. Bringing in a worse backup goalie that Thibault for Ryan Miller really hurt out GAA and wins. 4. By playing for another team, Danny Briere actually caused OUR TEAM +/- to go down! 3. We ran out of expendable players to get rid of at the trade deadline. 2. Jose Theodore "accidentally" shipped "hair cream" to HSBC Arena. AND the #1 excuse... 1. Gary Bettman made a secret deal with rest of the league owners to submarine the Sabres, because he thought we were an NBA team.
Mike Oxhurtz Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 10. Teppo Numinnen had a rare contagious disease that strikes his teammates when he's out of the lineup. 9. Mad Max made the Blue Jackets a playoff team, and we didn't give him a chance to shine here. 8. Ryan Miller couldn't adjust to the new rules governing goalie equipment. 7. Harry Neale brought back luck with him from the Maple Leafs, and we just can't shake it! 6. Lindy Ruff lost his ability to motivate professional hockey players who make millions of dollars a year. 5. Bringing in a worse backup goalie that Thibault for Ryan Miller really hurt out GAA and wins. 4. By playing for another team, Danny Briere actually caused OUR TEAM +/- to go down! 3. We ran out of expendable players to get rid of at the trade deadline. 2. Jose Theodore "accidentally" shipped "hair cream" to HSBC Arena. AND the #1 excuse... 1. Gary Bettman made a secret deal with rest of the league owners to submarine the Sabres, because he thought we were an NBA team. Awesome!!! Glad I was able to create some inspiration. :thumbsup:
Mike Oxhurtz Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 Teppo forgot his "Life Alert" necklace, for when he "Fallen and can't get up", and "I'm having chest pains". The no-name talent management brought in during the offsesaon didn't workout. Briere and Drury are still the Anti-Christ's. The Sabres are still lacking veteran leadership. But management is still doing a great job! (sarcasm)
carpandean Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 Briere and Drury are still the Anti-Christ's. Hey, I take offense at that. Nobody ever said Chris was the anti-Christ! ;) How about: After realizing that it was, in fact, not a joke, the hockey gods continued to punish us for the "slug".
GoatheadInCT Posted May 5, 2008 Author Report Posted May 5, 2008 Don't you people have jobs?? My job is Sabres Fan, and if you don't like it, then YOU'RE FIRED!! :w00t:
Mike Oxhurtz Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 Hey, I take offense at that. Nobody ever said Chris was the anti-Christ! ;) How about: After realizing that it was, in fact, not a joke, the hockey gods continued to punish us for the "slug". We need to see if they have three 6's marked on their heads. There are some here that feel that every ex-Sabre is overpaid, overrated, and point out every single flaw/weakness that player ever had. So I was being sarcastic with the "Anti-Christ" comments.
Swedesessed Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 Don't you people have jobs?? Yes, we are hiring by the way
Mike Oxhurtz Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 Yes, we are hiring by the way So send us your resumes, and we'll call you back.
stenbaro Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 We need to see if they have three 6's marked on their heads. There are some here that feel that every ex-Sabre is overpaid, overrated, and point out every single flaw/weakness that player ever had. So I was being sarcastic with the "Anti-Christ" comments. Who would do that around here???????? :wallbash:
Mike Oxhurtz Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 Who would do that around here???????? :wallbash: Gee, I have no clue (see Briere posts).
GoatheadInCT Posted May 5, 2008 Author Report Posted May 5, 2008 Gee, I have no clue (see Briere posts). Who is BRIERE? It IS a name that ALWAYS escapes me... TO get old is to BLAME, I guess! ALWAYS. :P :D :thumbsup:
Mike Oxhurtz Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 Who is BRIERE? It IS a name that ALWAYS escapes me... TO get old is to BLAME, I guess! ALWAYS. :P :D :thumbsup: I'm getting old as well, who is this Briere person that everyone keeps mentioning?
GoatheadInCT Posted May 5, 2008 Author Report Posted May 5, 2008 I'm getting old as well, who is this Briere person that everyone keeps mentioning? Read just the CAPITAL letters and see what you find! :w00t:
Mike Oxhurtz Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 Read just the CAPITAL letters and see what you find! :w00t: Nice subliminals!! I think we should play Slayer's "Anti-Christ" when Briere & Drury are on the ice at the HSBC arena.
IKnowPhysics Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 Similar headlines from two years from now: Sabres management fail to sign Nathan Gerbe and Tim Kennedy, each of whom enjoy 30 goal freshman NHL seasons. Salary caps swell to $100 million, and at $33 Million, the Sabres quickly again become the third lowest spending team in the NHL, next to Edmonton ($28M) and the Islanders ($7M). Sabres C Tim Connolly, while attempting to deke with his head down, again suffers a concussion from an average hit. This won't cause him to miss any games, but the 28 surgeries he undergoes to resolve unrelated problems will cause him to sit out the season. Ales Kotalik finally musters the work ethic to play hard in corners and around the boards. But this achievement comes at the cost of shooting practice, causing him to become a terrible shot and a limp-wristed deker. Jason Pominville, the 2008 Lady Byng winner, has stated publicly that he would love to remain in Buffalo under a new long-term contract. Sabres management offers him a one-and-a-half-year two-way deal. Taylor Pyatt, after vastly improving in Vancouver to become a great power forward, is reacquired by the Sabres in exchange for an 8th round draft pick, a Ted's hot dog, and future considerations. Darcy Regier reverts to being heralded as the most trade-savvy GM in hockey. Taylor Pyatt reverts to blowing. Bizarro Sabres emerge from a cube-shaped planet, and are allowed by Gary Bettman to form an NHL franchise that uses the Memorial Auditorium because "the league needed to expand into the Buffalo West Side television market." They begin playing a full season and are deemed a successful, important team in the NHL, despite somehow achieving negative attendance figures. At the end of the season, despite having fewer wins, Bizarro Sabres edge the Buffalo Sabres out of playoff contention based on more points gathered by overtime losses. NYR C Chris Drury, after explaining that he's always liked the idea of having a goatee, signs a seven year $3.5M contract with them. Bizarro Ruff, who does not have a goatee, wins the Jack Adams.
Mike Oxhurtz Posted May 5, 2008 Report Posted May 5, 2008 Similar headlines from two years from now: Sabres management fail to sign Nathan Gerbe and Tim Kennedy, each of whom enjoy 30 goal freshman NHL seasons. Salary caps swell to $100 million, and at $33 Million, the Sabres quickly again become the third lowest spending team in the NHL, next to Edmonton ($28M) and the Islanders ($7M). Sabres C Tim Connolly, while attempting to deke with his head down, again suffers a concussion from an average hit. This won't cause him to miss any games, but the 28 surgeries he undergoes to resolve unrelated problems will cause him to sit out the season. Ales Kotalik finally musters the work ethic to play hard in corners and around the boards. But this achievement comes at the cost of shooting practice, causing him to become a terrible shot and a limp-wristed deker. Jason Pominville, the 2008 Lady Byng winner, has stated publicly that he would love to remain in Buffalo under a new long-term contract. Sabres management offers him a one-and-a-half-year two-way deal. Taylor Pyatt, after vastly improving in Vancouver to become a great power forward, is reacquired by the Sabres in exchange for an 8th round draft pick, a Ted's hot dog, and future considerations. Darcy Regier reverts to being heralded as the most trade-savvy GM in hockey. Taylor Pyatt reverts to blowing. Bizarro Sabres emerge from a cube-shaped planet, and are allowed by Gary Bettman to form an NHL franchise that uses the Memorial Auditorium because "the league needed to expand into the Buffalo West Side television market." They begin playing a full season and are deemed a successful, important team in the NHL, despite somehow achieving negative attendance figures. At the end of the season, despite having fewer wins, Bizarro Sabres edge the Buffalo Sabres out of playoff contention based on more points gathered by overtime losses. NYR C Chris Drury, after explaining that he's always liked the idea of having a goatee, signs a seven year $3.5M contract with them. Bizarro Ruff, who does not have a goatee, wins the Jack Adams. That's awesome!!! And fairly accurate!!
Hawerchuk Posted May 6, 2008 Report Posted May 6, 2008 Larry Quinn didn't have a spirtitual vision from the Seneca Indian Nation before the season began.
calti Posted May 6, 2008 Report Posted May 6, 2008 Similar headlines from two years from now: Sabres management fail to sign Nathan Gerbe and Tim Kennedy, each of whom enjoy 30 goal freshman NHL seasons. Salary caps swell to $100 million, and at $33 Million, the Sabres quickly again become the third lowest spending team in the NHL, next to Edmonton ($28M) and the Islanders ($7M). Sabres C Tim Connolly, while attempting to deke with his head down, again suffers a concussion from an average hit. This won't cause him to miss any games, but the 28 surgeries he undergoes to resolve unrelated problems will cause him to sit out the season. Ales Kotalik finally musters the work ethic to play hard in corners and around the boards. But this achievement comes at the cost of shooting practice, causing him to become a terrible shot and a limp-wristed deker. Jason Pominville, the 2008 Lady Byng winner, has stated publicly that he would love to remain in Buffalo under a new long-term contract. Sabres management offers him a one-and-a-half-year two-way deal. Taylor Pyatt, after vastly improving in Vancouver to become a great power forward, is reacquired by the Sabres in exchange for an 8th round draft pick, a Ted's hot dog, and future considerations. Darcy Regier reverts to being heralded as the most trade-savvy GM in hockey. Taylor Pyatt reverts to blowing. Bizarro Sabres emerge from a cube-shaped planet, and are allowed by Gary Bettman to form an NHL franchise that uses the Memorial Auditorium because "the league needed to expand into the Buffalo West Side television market." They begin playing a full season and are deemed a successful, important team in the NHL, despite somehow achieving negative attendance figures. At the end of the season, despite having fewer wins, Bizarro Sabres edge the Buffalo Sabres out of playoff contention based on more points gathered by overtime losses. NYR C Chris Drury, after explaining that he's always liked the idea of having a goatee, signs a seven year $3.5M contract with them. Bizarro Ruff, who does not have a goatee, wins the Jack Adams. Wow that is scary good. well done.
wjag Posted May 9, 2008 Report Posted May 9, 2008 In an effort to re-energize the fan base, the Sabres play 10 home games in Winnipeg, 10 games in Quebec and 10 games in Hartford. 10 games are played at the HSBC and the final game is played as an outdoor game in Sweden. Team charges exorbitant prices in these hockey starved cities but claims they'll finish in debt unless they make it through two rounds of the playoffs. Sabres fandom is at an all time high now that they play in two states, two provinces, and three countries; the players however complain they are always on the road. While team management relishes their role as hockey embassadors, the players no longer know what it means to have a long homestand. Sabres fall one point short in their final homegame in Quebec.
ROC Sabres Posted May 9, 2008 Report Posted May 9, 2008 We need to see if they have three 6's marked on their heads. There are some here that feel that every ex-Sabre is overpaid, overrated, and point out every single flaw/weakness that player ever had. So I was being sarcastic with the "Anti-Christ" comments. I thought you knew, HSBC Arena is built on an old Indian burial ground. Hence the reason every season Buffalo dies and comes back the next. or is it them killing us, and we keep coming back?
bills_fan_in_raleigh Posted May 9, 2008 Report Posted May 9, 2008 The dog eats the fax machine and all of the video scouting is confiscated by the NHL thinking that the sabres are stealing signals from the sidelines.
deluca67 Posted May 10, 2008 Report Posted May 10, 2008 We need to see if they have three 6's marked on their heads. There are some here that feel that every ex-Sabre is overpaid, overrated, and point out every single flaw/weakness that player ever had. So I was being sarcastic with the "Anti-Christ" comments. You think the fans in New York and San Jose might agree with those assessments?
tom webster Posted May 10, 2008 Report Posted May 10, 2008 You think the fans in New York and San Jose might agree with those assessments? So now that they can't say all of Philly hates Briere, its San Jose and New York. Sorry, while there may be some, like yourself, in New York, most fans love that they have Drury and look forward to the reformation of the team in the Drury and Gomez look. In San Jose, those that even care realize that while Campbell certainly didn't help, they have a lot more problem starting with that playoff stiff Joe Tornton.
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