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OT- Best Simpsons quotes


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Posted

I'm too bummed to discuss the Sabres. But the Simpsons, well, they're a different story. I do think that there has been a decline in quality over the last few seasons, but the older ones are timeless.

 

Here's my top 10 quotes/conversations. It was very difficult settling on these.

 

What are favorites?

 

 

10) Homer: Trying is the first step toward failure.

 

10a) Drederick Tatum: We all know that pi are squared, but today, pie are justice. (Had to include at least one from a newer episode)

 

9) Reverend Lovejoy: This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now, let's say the Lord's Prayer forty times, but first let's pass the collection plate.

 

8) Marge: There's going to be twice as much love in the house as there was before.

Homer: We're going to start doing it in the morning?

 

7) Ralph: Hi, super nintendo Chalmers.

 

6) Milhouse: I can't go on. You two go ahead. And carry me with you.

 

5) Gil: Oh no! Not today, not to Gil! I could feel that sale. I was in the zone!

 

4) Apu: "Hey! Hey! Hey! I have asked you nicely not to mangle my merchandise. You leave me no choice but to...ask you nicely again."

 

3) Bart has to spell impervious in a spelling bee: I...M...P

Nelson: Bart is pee!

Ralph Wiggum: I made Bart in my pants!

 

2) Marge: Chief Wiggum? my husbands gone crazy and is trying to murder my family; OVER

Chief Wiggum: oh, well thank good thats over, i starting to worry there....

 

1) Bart: What do you need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.

Homer: Well, maybe if he'd had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.

Posted

Three of my favorites:

 

Ralphie looking at the snarling wolf: Will you be my mommy?

(wolf picks him up like a pup and carries him off)

Ralphie: You smell like dead bunnies!

 

Flanders: I know you needed flowers (from Flander's garden) for your float, but did you have to salt the earth so that nothing would ever grow there again?

Homer: he he he. Yeeeeahhhh.

 

And of course:

 

Screamapiller: AHAHHHHHAHAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Posted

Raslph: My cats breath smells like cat food.

 

thats all I got, I have moved on from the simpsons to the family guy. Personally I think the humor on FG has more of an edge.

Posted

Ralph: Mr. Army Man? I can't sleep without my Reggie Rabbit!

Skinner: Is that some sort of plush novelty?

Ralph: Yes ma'am.

Skinner: Uh, well here's a scouring pad, it's just as good.

Ralph: It's cold and hurty!

Posted

Homer:

 

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is... never try.

 

Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Posted

Homer -

Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done.

Posted

Homer: Butter up that bacon boy.

Bart: But daaaad, my heart hurts!

Homer: Son, as long as you live in my house, you will live by my rules. Now bacon up that sausage!

 

Otto: *looking at hands* You know, they call em fingers, but I've never seen em fing...Oh, there they go.

Posted

Homer - "Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"

Posted
Homer - "Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"

"Moe, I have to go, my weiner kids are listening"

Posted

Moe (responding to Barts prank call) : "I'm gonna poke out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you. Then, I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat"

Posted

Homer: You suck diddly-uck Flanders!

 

Martin: Ah, sweet, nourishing gruel!

 

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

 

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.

Homer: He he he. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

 

Flanders: I?ve done everything the Bible says - even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

 

CBG: Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three ?Highlander? movies.

 

Barney: Aaah! Natural Light! Get it off me! Get it off me!

 

Ralph: Oh boy! Sleep! That's when I'm a Viking!

Posted

Bart and Lisa wrote a TV show and their royalty checks were getting sent to Grandpa Simpson... They went to him and asked him about the checks:

 

Lisa Simpson: "Grandpa, didn't you wonder why you kept getting checks in the mail for not doing anything?"

 

Grandpa Simpson: "I thought it was because the Democrats were back in power."

Posted
Homer: U-R-GAY

 

heh heh heh

 

"...in Rand McNally, they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people!" = my favorite from that episode. And that was one of the best episodes ever.

 

"Super Nintendo Chalmers" really is my all-time favorite, though. It's funny 'cause it's true...

Posted

Kent Brockman: "Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together."

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

Had to revitalize this one.

 

 

I watched the episode where Lisa tries to expose Jebediah Springfield as a fraud. A number of good quotes in that one, but here's one from the first five minutes..

 

Springfield's motto is "A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man"

 

 

Edna: Embiggens? I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield.

 

Ms. Hoover: I don't know why. It's a perfectly cromulent word.

Posted

"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

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