You can't massage something until it's engorged in a public forum. You do that one time on a Metro Bus and everyone gets all "Look at that 41 year old weirdo in the trench coat at the back of the bus"
"I talked to Matty Ellis between periods. The only PP he's in charge of is me. I'm his Perfect Pet (PP) and he is in total control of my heart and soul. My wife is starting to grow concerned about the nature of our relationship."