ubkev

Yeah, baby! I'm heading home to CNY on Friday. I can't wait! I hope we get 3 feet! I'm so sick of muddy, brown winters!

When my wife snores I very gently, tickle her face. She then will roll over and shut the hell up! Works every time, but only for about 3 to 5 minutes.

One of my guys quit his job a few years back because he designs and manufacturers a pretty badass machine that cuts blue stone. I think he sells em for like 225k. Not bad work if you can get it...

His teammate kicks him in the head immediately after the hit, then they drop the gloves and sticks on his corpse, then they decide that the bottom of the pile is the best place for his lifeless body to lay. Hurr durr, we gotta protect our guys!! Fukcing idiots.

250 oil

This commercial makes me smile and say what the , all at the same time. A+ commercial.

I got yelled at for saying this 3 months ago. Apparently he's good, or something.

I routinely change my wiper blades, and fill the gas tank in all my vehicles. And that's all! My brother is a mechanic, and incredibly qualified mechanic, and I know as much about cars as a beauty queen. Actually, that is a slight to beauty queens. My wife knows more about cars than I do! What I do know, is that no job inside my house scares me. Had water coming down into my man cave, whenever I would take a shower. I'm figuring the valve stems are going bad, so I go into the wall and I replaced them all. It all went absolutely perfectly after I got the blow torch out. I got everything swapped out and had the water flowing beautifully. No leaks! Until I take a shower later that night. Turns out, the caulk seal around the tub had given up. So I put about 2 hours of work into a 6 minute job.

Isn't it awesome!? It feels so freaking good when I'm not miserable, 9 Sundays a football season.

Who saw the Raiders punters troll job? Awesome, just awesome! https://twitter.com/Deadspin/status/805573121419935744

If there is even an ounce of truth to this, then they will absolutely never win anything, ever!

I may or may not have called several people "kiddie enablers" last night. Or something to that effect.

Everyone in the building just started cheering as the Pedophile State game ended. ...one of those time that I wish I had a flamethrower!

Anyone ever go to a fancy French restaurant, having never had fancy French food before? Yep, I'll never get that money back. I'll start by saying, I enjoyed my steak. I enjoyed it very much. My wife however, did not enjoy her chicken. Nope, nope, nope. Took one bite and she was f'n done! Le coq au Vin, if you're interested. I quite enjoyed it after she decided that she wasn't eating. See what I get for trying to be spontaneous. Yeah, spontaneity is overrated. I'll go back to the formula. The formula always works.

I thought Fantastic Beasts was ok.

We had HBO when I was a kid and I would sneak watching Larry Sanders and whatever was on on Thursday night at 11(dont act like you don't know). But seriously, what 10 year old watches the Larry Sanders show? Oh, Jack is good at hockey.

Because in football there are like 20 of them, in baseball and basketball, there aren't captains, and in soccer, no one cares. Hockey has the C, A, A structure. It's easily identifiable for fans to care about.

Took a flyer on him, fairly late in our fantasy league. ...he's alright

@720

Oh man, that sounds awful. Sounds like a guy who can't stick up for himself in a relationship. But hey, 50/50 shot it will be over soon.

Oof, sucker. Poor guy. Still, his fault though.

How old is your friend?

@870 A buck and a half on the rags(150 on NY)

Not if it's like any of their other programs. Heyohhh!

https://twitter.com/cmccormick08/status/803991283501035520 If you're interested