Buffalo, NY - Chaos reigned today in the so-called "Meddling" trial of Terry Pegula, with the defendant admitting publickly this morning that he, indeed, does meddle in the affairs of the Buffalo Sabres.
Reports of the confession were introduced to the court by none other than Judge Smell, who immediately recused himself for aiding the prosecution. Although an objection was raised by the defense, the lead defense and counsel engaged in coquetry before the bench, raising the tenor of today's chaos.
The prosecution then dismissed all charges, claiming any further procedures would be an exercise in utter futility. Prosecutor Fan said after proceedings wrapped up "...my head is spinning...we knew the case was a near slam-dunk, and we were prepared to go to the mat, but now...now between Pegula's confession and the lotion discussion on the floor, I think I'm going to be drinking heavily for the next few days..."
As if the events of the day weren't enough, the final moments of the proceeding were punctuated by Sheriff Deputies tackling a woman who had leapt from the gallery and started assaulting Defense Attorney Emotion. Deputies cuffed the woman and took her away, Emotion declined to comment on the altercation.