Stoner

Hebrew National. I'm not taking any chances.

I have the game on mute while reading the SabreSpace Family Squabbles thread that led to GoDD's lifetime ban and regretting eating three hot dogs with sauerkraut (probably been five years since I even had a hot dog, but I made the sauerkraut first and one thing led to another). I wonder where my life went wrong.

h/t @X. Benedict

Fancy stat: Dylan Cozens just spoke the words "excuse me" for the first time in an NHL game since Rip Simonick had the egg farts on November 17, 1997.

I am inspired by old film clips of Jackie clambering onto the back of the limo. She never quit!

Mrs. nfreeman puts the wine glass on the bedside table and snuggles close to her husband, running her hands through chest hair that would raise Tom Selleck's bushy left eyebrow. nfreeman stares at the ceiling playfully, then breaks into a big smile. At that very moment, a red light flashes from across the room, accompanied by an old-timey ah-ooga, ah-ogga. "Sonofabitch," he mutters, immediately throwing off the silk sheet and climbing out of bed. As he hustles toward the phone, he looks down and considers approaching middle-age. Gravity is not his friend. His mood does not improve. After picking the earpiece off the antique phone stand, he cranks the handle and leans into the microphone (it's Brooklyn). "Yes?" The Mrs. curses loudly. "They wrote what?!" A wine glass is picked up abruptly and put back down in a huff, chardonnay instantly staining mahogany. "I'll log in right away, sir."

You don't need to resort to a terrible strawman.

I don't trust anyone who writes the score like a Nana.

Shh. This is the night The Legend of Ras grows.

I missed this. You were good for awhile. Try again. Sometimes it takes more than one attempt.

I liked that time Drew Stafford had the fur coat on, and nothing else.

That caught my ear, too. I'm still waiting for a good explanation as to what went wrong on the two plays. Jerry Sullivan tried, writing about the secondary playing too deep and a pointless four-man rush — pointless, given how quick Mahomes had to get rid of the ball and how slippery he is. I don't see how either of those points goes to execution.

We need a hug graphic. Go dream of an awesome new owner.

Updated betting odds. Biron explains what +1100 means if you bet on the Sabres down 3-0. Duff chimes in on how big leads tend to disappear. See also: unsavory. I feel bad actually that they have to talk about that junk while a surgeon general type warning sits at the bottom of the screen. I'd quit on principle.

Duff is just so tickled by Ennis' play against Buffalo. What a tool.

Heinze didn't have hair when he played in Buffalo.

Wonder if Dan got the "Scores" memo.

It would have been justified right away. But when the player lifted his head up, the ref clearly decided to wait until the Senators secured control. He missed that call. Good to see that, once again, Granato can't be bothered to be bothered when his team gets screwed.

Says Bills Mafia.

Not that it matters, but one second was added (from 7 to 8 seconds) after the first play, when 7 seconds seemed to be the right time. Then the clock didn't start on the second play until Mahomes was dropping back. (I think the time is officially kept on the field.)

My other thought today is how is it possible to run two plays and cover the distance the Chiefs did in 10 seconds? I probably don't have the interest level to watch the replay, but was there a home field clock at work? If not (and I doubt there was, otherwise we'd have heard about it), it's pretty amazing execution by the Chiefs.

TaroT's suggestion that the Bills should have gone for two to take a four-point lead is still with me. It almost seems like a no-brainer.

It would not be news. Or shouldn't be given its lack of meaning. I think we've all been over this before.